Review: FixSation

Kate Sloan

Sexy Living told me they were sending me a FixSation and I was like, “Oh great, another wearable vibrator. Prepare for disappointment.”

I’d previously had a very iffy experience with the Lelo Tiani, which is, itself, a rip-off of the We-Vibe. So I felt kinda “meh” about having to wedge another vibe between me and my man.

Honestly, though, the FixSation is pretty okay, as far as wearable vibes go.

Before I get into specifics… can we talk about the name for a second? FixSation. When I first heard it, I thought it was possibly the most nondescript product name I’d ever heard. It doesn’t exactly sound like a sex toy, nor does it really sound like anything in particular. FixSation’s slogan is “Fixate on the Sensation when Friction meets Vibration,” so the name makes sense if you know the toy’s mission, but I don’t think I would ever guess its purpose just from the name. This makes it unmemorable – throughout the testing process, my boyfriend and I kept saying stuff like, “Want to use that… weird contraption… lacy thing?” because we couldn’t remember what it was actually called.

The FixSation has some damn classy packaging, which I can always appreciate. It comes in a slipcovered, thick cardboard box, containing compartments that hold the charger, the vibrator itself, the garter belt-like adornment that it attaches to, and a grey satin-ish bag for storage. Also included: a page of warranty information and instructions with illustrations that make me laugh.

It’s a rechargeable toy (fully, unlike the Lelo Tiani, with its rechargeable main unit and battery-operated remote). The charging port is covered by a little rubber plug when not in use, making it splashproof. This is one way in which Tiani wins, by being fully waterproof. I’m not a frequent shower-fucker, but it’s nice to have that option.

I definitely recommend that you take the time to figure out the FixSation well in advance of when you plan to use it. Some reviewers have put it together in a snap, while others have struggled; as for me, I had to recruit my boyfriend to do it. He threaded the thin, stretchy straps of the “panty companion” through the sides of the FixSation itself, and then hooked them into the back of the panties. The whole process was fairly similar to dealing with a garter belt or a bra, but I’ve never really been good at that kind of thing (despite being a total femme all my life), so I’m glad I had my man on hand to help.

You’ll have to unhook and re-hook the FixSation from its garter-panties home anytime you want to wash it (soap and water works – it’s ABS plastic with a PU coating), but after doing it once or twice, it gets much easier.

Sexy Living sent me a size medium, and I normally wear a large. The panty companion didn’t cause me any discomfort, though; the only downside to having the wrong size is that it created an unsightly muffin top. As far as I can tell, the product runs true to size – and it goes up to size XXL (18-20). All you curvy goddesses, take note!

In use, I definitely preferred the FixSation to the Lelo Tiani. The FixSation is contoured to the shape of the pubic mound and vulva, so it stays put when I wear it during sex. And unlike the other leading couples’ vibes (We-Vibe and Tiani), the FixSation has no internal arm. Women like me, who have a small-ish vagina that can only just accommodate a penis, may enjoy this feature of the FixSation. I certainly found it a lot more comfortable to wear than the Tiani, because there wasn’t any hard silicone poking me in the G-spot every five seconds.

One discomfort issue, which isn’t so much painful as annoying, is the ridges on the “female side” of the FixSation. They’re meant to stimulate the clit, which seems almost like a good idea until you realize: who wants tiny ridges rubbing over their clit?! Not me. The ridges are only really noticeable if my boyfriend presses really hard against me, but it’s enough of an issue to make me wish that this toy had a clit-sized bump there instead.

To turn on the vibrations, you hold down the power button (which is placed in a spot that’s actually convenient, hooray!) for 2-3 seconds. The FixSation has three speeds, which can be cycled through by pressing the button until you get to the desired speed. Disappointingly, the vibration strength is nothing to write home about, and is comparable at its highest to the medium settings on my other rechargeable toys, like the Lelo Mona.

For this reason, I don’t think the FixSation does well as a “finisher.” It doesn’t get me off during sex. It can feel very good, especially when my boyfriend presses his hips into me rhythmically or rotates them in a circle against my pelvis, but it just doesn’t have the power to get me off. It would work better for women who are sensitive and don’t usually use the highest settings on their toys.

Normally, if a toy is weak enough that I eventually have to give up and switch over to my Eroscillator, it makes me feel kind of frustrated and let down… but I don’t feel that way about the FixSation, at least not intensely. I feel that it’s a fun addition to intercourse, and it works better than the Lelo Tiani for what it’s set out to do – at least, for me. I might use it during those times when I want to make sex more enjoyable for myself but am not particularly fixated on getting off.

However, not gonna lie, I’m still eagerly waiting for the day that I discover a wearable vibe that actually makes me come during intercourse, hands-free. And preferably without poking my G-spot.

Ask Girly Juice: Handjobs For Everyone!

Kate Sloan

Anonymous asked: How do I give a good handjob?

Hey Anon, you’re in luck! I’m actually a bit of a handjob aficionado. I attended a workshop on the subject a few months ago, and since then, it’s been one of my favorite sexual acts – and if my boyfriend’s reactions are any indication, I’m pretty good with my hands.

The instructor at the workshop I attended stressed that the three most important elements of a good handjob are lube, variety, and pressure.

Lube is crucial for most guys. Some men, especially uncircumcised ones, won’t require lube to enjoy a handjob, but it provides a different and pleasant sensation that they may not replicate very often when they’re alone, so it’s worth including even if it’s not strictly necessary. My favorite lube for handjobs is Pjur Original Bodyglide – it was the recommended choice at the workshop I went to, and has turned out to be brilliant for this purpose.

Variety is very important because it’s something that most men don’t typically give themselves when they masturbate. I mean, think about it – when you get your own rocks off, you probably mainly focus on the one or two or three techniques that definitely work, without taking any time to experiment. A handjob shouldn’t be a step-by-step re-creation of what the guy does when he’s alone; it should be a re-imagination of what a hand can do to a penis. Mix it up, try different strokes, pay attention to his reactions!

Pressure isn’t a big deal to my boyfriend (he’s uncut and way more sensitive than most guys, so he prefers a looser grip), but most guys are into it. I read a study about the various sexual complaints that men and women have about each other, and one of them was that many men wish women would use more pressure. Don’t employ a vice grip (unless that’s what he likes!) but don’t be afraid to squeeze a little.

One useful trick I’ve learned: establish with your partner that “10” means the pressure is perfect, a lower number means your grip is too weak, and a higher number means you’re choking his dick. Periodically check in with him, asking him to rate the pressure on that scale. It won’t take long for you to learn what his happy medium feels like.

Remember that foreplay and build-up are not just for women – many men like that stuff too! It’s more than okay to spend several minutes teasing his nipples, thighs, pubic mound, balls, lower shaft, etc. before going for the gold. This will increase his sensitivity before you even really get started, making for a more intense eventual climax.

I asked my boyfriend what he values in a handjob, and he said he loves it when I delay the orgasm. As I said before, a handjob should be an exploration of techniques your man might miss when he’s in control of his own stimulation – and since my fella takes a maximum of five minutes to jerk off, I usually try to stave off his ejaculation for at least ten minutes. I build him up to the plateau phase, then back off and do some less intense techniques for a while, like ball-play or stroking his shaft – and then I do it all over again, a few times. This leads to a way more intense orgasm in the end.

Also, keep in mind that there are lots of things you can do to enhance his experience, other than just stroking his cock. I love giving handjobs so much that I usually end up humping my man’s thigh and moaning by the end of it, and he is totally into that. A little dirty talk can work wonders as well. Again, it’s all about giving him what masturbation can’t.

Hope that helps! The skill of giving handjobs is one that’s hard to master and way too much fun.

10 Sexy Things I Appreciate About My Boyfriend

Kate Sloan

1. He uses toys on me, enthusiastically and often. He is also totally thrilled that I review sex toys now, because we have all these fun new things to play with all the time. Some of my best orgasms ever have occurred while he was licking my clit and thrusting a toy inside me (a particular favorite for this purpose is the Lelo Mona). Seriously, the man knows his way around a dildo.

2. I told him once, long ago, that before inserting a toy into me, he should lube it up, either with actual lube or just by sticking it in his mouth for a few seconds. Ever since then, he’s typically begun each toy-play session by basically giving it a blowjob in front of me. He’s completely straight, but he knows it delights me to see him do this – not only because it’s hot, but because it reminds me how happy I am to have a sex-positive and open-minded boyfriend – so he does it every time.

3. He’s uncut. Fuck yes. I don’t mean to be insulting to dudes with circumcised cocks, and it’s just a matter of personal preference, but damn, do I love me some foreskin. It’s easy to operate, and smooth, and fun to play with. A++, would jerk again.

4. He fucking loves cunnilingus. Like, probably as much as I do. We met on OkCupid and I made sure to mark the “do you enjoy giving oral sex?” question as “very important” for my matches; I do not regret this decision. Receiving impassioned oral from a dedicated lover is one of life’s greatest pleasures, methinks.

5. Not only does he love cunnilingus, but he understands its importance in the grander scheme of sex. He understands that I need to be well-lubricated and turned on for intercourse to feel good. He understands that I need warm-up if I’m going to be able to masturbate to orgasm while he’s inside me. And he understands that good, enthusiastic oral can make me feel more loved and appreciated than almost anything else I can think of.

6. He’s adventurous. We’ve attempted some kink, a bit of roleplaying, a few silly positions. We’ve experimented with weird toys, for me and for him. We’ve laughed at our fumbles and moved on to have progressively better and better sex as time has gone on. Sex is like a game – you have to keep moving, you have to try new strategies and tricks to achieve your goals.

7. He knows how to use his cock. When we first met, he hadn’t had much experience with straight-up intercourse, and was nervous about his abilities – but over the year we’ve been having sex, he’s learned. Oh boy, has he learned. He can hit my G-spot with stunning accuracy, and often at high speeds. He seems to know the exact angle and pressure I need from him to help me get off during PIV. It’s extremely impressive and I don’t commend him enough for it.

8. He communicates. I mean, he’s dating me, so of course he does – but he does it well, and without complaint. When we have a problem, sexual, romantic, or otherwise, we discuss it until a solution is found and the issue dissipates. We’re both good at asking for what we want, even in the middle of the action. We don’t have to use coy metaphors and embarrassed phrasings – we just say it, whatever it is. Communication is the cure for bad sex, which is why ours is so damn good.

9. He doesn’t see penetration as the be-all and end-all of sex. We frequently have “intimate times” that involve using only our hands and mouths on each other, and neither of us views that as a downgrade of any kind. When I want to be fucked, I know he can deliver, but I greatly appreciate the fact that he values hand and mouth sex as much as I do – as much as everyone should.

10. He’s really fucking handsome. His face, hair, hands, mouth, arms, ass, and cock are totally enticing. And he smells how I imagine George Clooney would smell after a day at the beach. Is there anything sexier than a smart man who smells good? I doubt it.

Progress Report: G-Spot Orgasms (Revisited)

Kate Sloan

The last time we spoke about G-spot orgasms, I had only just started to experiment. I’d given a stack of towels a permanent home on my bed, and I’d invested in some highly-praised G-spotting toys. But I’d barely ventured into the world that is G-spot pleasure.

I’ve been playing with my G-spot a lot more lately, so I thought I’d give you a little update on how it’s going.

I was reading Deborah Sundahl’s squirting bible and she mentioned that some women find it easier to incorporate a steadily-lessening amount of clitoral stimulation over time, as they learn to master their G-spots. This idea sounded much easier and more appealing to me than just dropping clit stim cold-turkey in favor of concentrating on my G-spot.

Today, I started with my Amethyst, a favorite but oft-forgotten dildo of mine. It’s glass, and fairly skinny, so it requires little to no lube and is great for warm-up. Plus, when inserted, it makes a freaking bee-line for my G-spot, immediately triggering that need-to-pee sensation.

Normally I need a little clit play to get me going, but the Amethyst felt good right away. I wish it were always this easy to get started. (Maybe it would be if I always started with the Amethyst!)

After a while, my pussy started to crave something bigger. The small, tapered end of the Amethyst just wasn’t cutting it anymore, so I pulled out the Pure Wand. The G-spotter to end all G-spotters. A pound and a half of glorious steel.

Like glass, steel barely needs any lube – I just stuck the Wand’s larger end in my mouth for a second and that was enough to get it to slide in. My G-spot was pretty swollen and aroused at this point, so again, it felt good right away. I thrusted and rocked and tilted and manoeuvred. Good god, the Pure Wand knows what it’s doing.

After about 15 minutes of that, I started to feel a little stuck – like my arousal wasn’t progressing anymore. So I grabbed my Eroscillator, kitted out with the fingertip attachment, turned it to the lowest setting and held it on my clit while continuing to thrust the Pure Wand. I increased the speed of my thrusting, and a few times, I felt the glimmer of an oncoming orgasm somewhere in the distance, but it didn’t happen.

I should tell you that the Eroscillator’s lowest speed is not normally one that gets me off. I always click up to the second and third speeds to finish the job. While using it in tandem with the Pure Wand, I occasionally felt a momentary desire to increase the power of the oscillations, but when that happened, I knew it was only because I was focusing on my clit too much. Ms. Sundahl says achieving G-spot orgasm is about shifting your awareness from your clit to your urethral sponge, so I knew that’s what I had to do.

I left the Eroscillator buzzing at a low speed on my clit, while thrusting very fast with the Pure Wand. I focused all my mental energy on the way the big steel ball felt as it slid over my G-spot again and again. I revelled in that sensation, that unusual pleasure that I don’t typically encounter without the help of toys. And before very long, I came.

It wasn’t a full-on G-spot orgasm – I felt some of it in my clit, and was hypersensitive afterward in a very clitoral sort of way. But I definitely feel that I now know how to shift my orgasms into a deeper part of my pussy, at least somewhat… and that feels like an important step.

Review: Knotty Wood Arts dildos

Kate Sloan

Several weeks ago, I had the idea to ask various Etsy sellers if they’d like me to review some of their products. There are a lot of people making gorgeous sexual paraphernalia on Etsy – everything from leather floggers to glass butt plugs – and I love to support independent craftsters, so I thought it would be cool to do a series of reviews of handmade items here on Girly Juice.

Being mostly just normal people, rather than businessfolk, not all of the Etsians I contacted were totally professional. One insulted me for asking for “freebies.” One cut me down for writing a not-altogether-positive review of their product. One even made a feeble attempt at flirting with me. But the man behind Knotty Wood Arts was completely wonderful, helpful, and kind. Even if I didn’t like his toys, I’d still be singing his praises for the great customer service… but I love his toys, so I can sing their praises as well!

Knotty sent me three dildos to review. One was custom-made to my specifications – my first custom sex toy! – and it is perfect. I requested a ripply dildo, 1 ¼” wide and 6″ long (I have a pretty tiny vagina, so sometimes I wish all my dildos were this size). Drawings were exchanged, dimensions were discussed, and I felt absolutely cared for as a customer.

Naturally, the dildo that was designed specifically for me is definitely my favorite of the three, and indeed, now one of my favorite penetrative toys in my collection. It’s the perfect size for a warm-up dildo, helping me to transition seamlessly to a larger toy, if that’s what I want to do – but it feels so good that I quite often use it for my entire play session. The little balls stroke my G-spot easily and effectively. I love that I don’t have to be “in the mood for penetration” to use this toy, because it’s smaller than most of my dildos and never feels like a challenge.

One of the other toys Knotty sent me, the Turtle, is tiny and discreet, but is surprisingly good at hitting my G-spot. It has a grippy handle where my fingertips fit, allowing me to push up on it and apply more pressure to my spot. It’s a very clever design because it kind of looks like a wooden spoon, or at the very least, it doesn’t look like a dildo – so you could leave this out, or take it with you when you travel, and no one would suspect. The owner of Knotty says this is one of his most popular designs, and I can certainly see why.

I’m admittedly not in love with the third Knotty toy I received, a girthy double-ended dildo with a ridgy part on one end – but that’s probably because it’s made up of two things my vagina doesn’t really like: smooth thickness and little ridges. I know some texture queens and girth enthusiasts who’d probably be all over this one, though it’s not for me.

This has been my first experience using wooden toys, and I think I’ll be trying more of them in the future, because wood is a great material for dildos. It’s lightweight, so my wrist never gets tired from thrusting it, even when I’m going super quickly. Knotty dildos are all treated with several coats of a food-safe finish, which keeps the toys’ surface smooth and lube-compatible but also preserves the smell of the wood (which is heavenly, by the way – much more pleasant than steel or silicone). It’s easy to wash these dildos with soap and water or a quick spritz of some antibacterial toy cleaning spray. And best of all, wood is firm, so it makes my G-spot swoon.

Wood’s not perfect, though. These toys have some drag – not the kind that makes me fear for vaginal splinters, thank goodness – so I find I need an extra squirt of lube to get ‘em to slide smoothly and comfortably. However, that’s the kind of thing I only mind if the toy isn’t that great, and these wooden toys are great, so drag’s not a big deal.

As if it’s not awesome enough that all Knotty Wood Arts toys are hand-carved, coated in a body-safe finish, customizable, firm, and lightweight, they’re also affordable. If you’ve been lusting after a wooden toy by NobEssence, you’ve probably noticed that their toys are pretty pricey. I’m sure you’ll be surprised and delighted to know that most of Knotty’s toys are under $50. I can think of no better way to describe this than the following: YAY!

Thanks so much, Knotty Wood Arts, for giving me my first experience with wooden toys and making it such a good one! If you’d like him to make you a custom wooden dildo or anal toy, get in touch with your specifications!