Behind the Seams: Extra-Long Jam-Packed Edition

September 28, 2021

My mom’s birthday was just days after my book’s release day, and I had to travel to New York to do the launch event, so I wanted to take her out for a special one-on-one meal before I left to make it up to her.

We went to Mezes, a fabulous restaurant in Toronto’s Greektown area. My family and I lived in Greektown for about 25 years, so Greek food was a big part of my childhood and always feels nostalgic to me. Chicken souvlaki skewers with tzatziki, a Greek salad heaped high with feta, and some roasted potatoes = possibly the ideal meal. (I’m clutching my leftovers in a to-go box in one of these photos – can’t let any of it go to waste!)

My mom has a fun, girly sense of style so I usually like to dress cute when I hang out with her. She looked cute as hell too!

What I’m wearing:

• Pink cashmere sweater – J. Crew
• Black T-shirt underneath (unseen)
• Black bandage skirt – Suzy Shier
• Black leggings – H&M
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Raspberry-pink crossbody bag – Coach
• Black KN95 mask (these have become my absolute faves for my everyday pandemic needs; a good nose wire is crucial for someone with a formidable schnoz like mine)


October 3, 2021

Matt picked this outfit for me for a date night involving incredible omakase sushi followed by a stand-up comedy show at the Beauty Bar. A friend-of-a-friend was performing and we wanted to support them.

It’s a really wild venue – like a dive bar decorated by rockabilly drag queens. But the bartenders were friendly, the atmosphere was good, and the show was delightful.

Matt and I were wearing matching outfits, and we sat in the front row as we often do, so pretty much every comedian on the bill made a joke or two about our matchy-matchy vibes. The hazards of sitting in the front row, am I right?! (I’m kidding – it was all in good fun.)

What I’m wearing:

• Orange skater dress – American Apparel, vintage via eBay
• Black cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black leggings – H&M
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• Raspberry-pink crossbody bag – Coach


October 12, 2021

This was what I wore on my book‘s release day! I spent most of the day frantically posting things about it on social media, answering questions about it, etc. and also recorded an episode of the Bed Post podcast with the inimitable Erin Pim.

The actual book launch party wasn’t until the following day, so I had RSVPed “yes” to a party being thrown by the sex toy brand Womanizer at the Jimmy, a beautiful rooftop bar. The company was celebrating its seventh birthday by inviting a bunch of sex media VIPs to mingle over cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. I get invited to this type of event semi-regularly but often have to decline because of geography (i.e. not always being in NYC or LA) or health (i.e. being chronically ill and sleepy as fuck), so it was fun to actually get to go to one!

At the party, Matt and I sipped martinis and chatted with several New York media people. I had a copy of my book in my bag and Matt kept finding excuses to show it to people and brag about me 🥰

The brand very generously sent us home with (among other things) an Arcwave Ion, which Matt had been dying to try. If you’re curious and want a preview of what my eventual review will say, listen to the latest Dildorks Patreon bonus episode!

What I’m wearing:

• Green velvet dress – H&M
• Black cashmere cardigan – the Gap
• Black leggings – H&M
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• Coach Station crossbody bag – vintage on eBay many moons ago


October 13, 2021

In pondering what I might want to wear to my book launch party, I scoured online stores for dresses in the colors of the book cover, black and gold… but eventually I remembered that I already had a dress in those colors! This beaut was a gift from my cousin and his girlfriend a couple Christmases ago and it was perfect for the occasion: classy, sparkly, and pretty.

The launch itself was soooo much fun! I will eventually write a whole post about it once I get the photos back from our photographer that evening, Ashe. I read some passages aloud from the book, did some kinky demos with Matt and Bex, and sold + signed copies afterward. There were tons of fascinating, lovely people there, all of whom I was so honored had come to my little event. Thanks so much to Matt, Bex, Ashe, and the KGB Bar for helping me put the whole thing together!

Also, doesn’t Matt look stunning?! Navy velvet is so perf on them.

What I’m wearing:

• Black & gold dress – gift
• Black tights – Hue
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Sparkly red heart necklace – Tarina Tarantino (at one point during the evening this was removed from my neck so Matt could use it as a pendulum for our hypnosis demo – it’s a multi-use item!)


October 16, 2021

October is “Locktober” in the chastity community – many chastity kinksters get locked up for the entire month (with breaks as needed for hygiene and maintenance etc.), often also blogging/posting about their experiences. This year was Matt and I’s second time doing it. It wasn’t always easy, particularly since dominance requires more energy from me than I generally have these days, and I was dealing with work stress (i.e. my book launch) on top of some health issues, so I wasn’t able to be as responsible and focused a dominant as I would have liked. But it was still a fun opportunity to try new things, gain confidence in domination, and assign cute tasks to my partner that make us both happy.

Some of those tasks were related to financial domination, i.e. consensually “forcing” them to buy me things. One night, when they had given me the green light for findom, I gave them a slow, teasing handjob to almost the point of orgasm and then informed them that they’d have to buy me this bag if they wanted to be allowed to come. (I’d had my eye on it for quite a while…) Naturally, they succumbed, so now, the bag is mine! *maniacal domme laughter*

I wore this out to Rocco’s Steakhouse for dinner. Their service is always impeccable and their food is A+. Would recommend.

What I’m wearing:

• Red dress – Winners years ago
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Pink chevron-stitched Coach Rogue bag – vintage via eBay, a gift from my love (the all-black version is also gorg)


October 17, 2021

My partner and I have had many, many, many conversations about gender – which makes sense, given that they’re nonbinary, we’re both bisexual, and I write about sex/kink/love/gender issues for a living. We were recently discussing our gender expressions and whether we feel like they fully reflect our gender identities, and I said that I’m comfy presenting as a mega-femme like 95% of the time but there is another 5% of the time when I crave dressing like a dirtbag teenage boy, basically. Matt told me that they would still find me attractive AF if I leaned more into that side of my style, and while I knew that, it was still good to hear.

This was my first time wearing a new pair of jeans I’d just bought at Madewell. It was an experiment in boyishness for an outing to a casual local omakase place. I think the experiment was very successful!

What I’m wearing:

• Dark blue T-shirt – Forever 21
• Tapered vintage-wash high-rise jeans – Madewell
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Coach Station crossbody bag – vintage on eBay
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• “101 Kinky Things” snapback hat – custom-made on Printful.com


October 24, 2021

Every so often, when I’m in New York, I like to check out the Museum of Sex to see what they’re up to. They were recently running a Betty Dodson exhibit, and Betty is a legend in the realm of sex-positive feminism, so I knew I had to check it out.

Matt and I went together and spent a few hours perusing the entire exhibit as well as the others on offer. We saw so many things: vulva paintings, robots fucking, up-close masturbation videos, cunnilingus sketches, a Whack-a-Mole-esque game involving jerking off dildos in a fake bathroom stall, and lots more. Should you ever find yourself in New York, I would recommend putting the Museum of Sex on your itinerary, if just because the sex shop in their lobby is as well-curated as the museum itself!

What I’m wearing:

• Purple “The Morning After” T-shirt – Threadless (I am normally somewhat squicked by both vomit and clowns but for some reason this shirt fills me with glee)
• High-rise jeans – Madewell
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather
• Black leather harness boots – Frye
• Coach Station crossbody bag – vintage on eBay
• Key to Matt’s chastity cage on a chain
• Apple Watch on a rainbow striped band


October 29, 2021

I was feeling truly uninspired when trying to come up with a Halloween costume (I mean, I’m in my late 20s during a pandemic, so maybe that’s par for the course). But I had recently re-watched The Notorious Bettie Page, a perennially inspiring biopic of the late great pinup model, and had felt (as I always do when I watch that movie) a pang of desire to cut my hair into her signature style. I just don’t have the energy to iron my bangs pin-straight on a daily basis, though, so I figured it made more sense to dress as her for Halloween.

Bettie doesn’t really have a signature outfit, per se – her most famous photos show her in everything from lingerie to bikinis to fetishwear to leopard-print bodysuits. So I decided to keep it classic and wear the type of sexy black dress she would’ve worn, paired with some period-appropriate heels and, of course, this terrific wig. I don’t know if anyone really knew who I was at the house party we went to, but whatever, I felt and looked cute as hell!

What I’m wearing:

Bettie Page wig – a brand called Difei on Amazon (it came with a wig cap and a pair of false lashes!)
Black wiggle dress – Grace Karin (the same brand that made my wedding dress, incidentally)
Black mary-jane pumps – J. Adams (surprisingly comfortable)

Review: Balldo

Every so often, a sex toy comes along that is so unusual, so wild, so unprecedented that I feel the need to shout about it to nearly everyone I talk to.

There was the vibrating teddy bear. There was the blowjob mirror. There were the butt plug shoes. And now, there is the Balldo.

I first heard about the Balldo back in January, when a press release about it popped into my inbox. The email called the product “the first dildo that uses your balls for penetrative sex.” I laughed out loud and texted my partner about it, thinking that this product could not possibly actually do what it purported to do. I archived the email. I thought that would be the end of it.

But then I kept getting press releases about it every so often, and kept looking at photos and videos of it online, trying to understand how it worked. And I kept bringing it up in conversations with friends, like, “Can you believe the things that people in the sex toy industry come up with?!” And somehow, amid all of that, I became quite certain: I needed to try the Balldo. I just had to know: Did it work as advertised? More importantly: Was it good?

Image via Balldo

WTF is the Balldo, and how do you use it?

The Balldo is a stretchy silicone apparatus that you slip onto your (shaved, lubed) testicles. It’s essentially a dildo that you can attach to your balls, with some open sections that allow your scrotum and balls to be stimulated while it’s on. The product also comes with two “spacer rings” which serve to “make your balls rigid enough for penetration.” You can slip them over the Balldo and down to the base of your balls once the Balldo is already on, if need be.

Putting it on can be tricky, especially if you’re not used to using cock rings and other stretchy toys on your dick and/or balls. My partner is quite experienced with such things, though, being a chastity cage aficionado and cock-ring enthusiast, and it takes them about 30 seconds to a minute to get their Balldo on. But once it’s on, it stays anchored in place pretty well. We would recommend that the wearer be the person to put the Balldo on themselves, rather than having a partner put it on them, because it’s a challenging task in a delicate area – but when Matt puts their Balldo on, it’s not a painful process at all, just perhaps a bit uncomfortable for a few seconds.

Once the Balldo is on and lubed up, you’re ready to fuck your partner with your balls. You can use it to fuck someone vaginally or anally (or, I guess, orally too, although if you’re gonna do that, it’s probably easier to just lick/suck someone’s naked balls, unless the phallic shape is part of your fantasy).

Image via Balldo

What does “ballsex” feel like?

The first time my partner and I used the Balldo together, they came literally the moment their balls slid inside me. That is not an exaggeration.

They said that it felt like my cunt was squeezing the cum out of their balls, which is… quite a salient thought, for someone who has a “milking” fantasy like they do. We were in the doggie-style position and I heard their telltale orgasmic moans as their cum exploded across my back. Giggles burst out of me immediately. I had anticipated a number of different possibilities for how our first Balldo session would go, but this was not one of them. It was hot!

During that testing session as well as subsequent ones, my partner has definitely experienced the fabled “ballgasm” lauded by the toy’s inventors and testers. They’ve described it as an orgasm that feels centered in their balls, and is qualitatively quite different from penile or prostate orgasms. Depending on what position you choose, your dick might end up rubbing against your partner’s body with every thrust as well, adding further stimulation that might help push you over the edge if ball stimulation isn’t enough on its own.

From the receiving end of things, I have to say that the Balldo doesn’t feel all that impressive. It’s definitely cool that I can feel my partner’s balls in me, and I like that every little squeeze of my vaginal muscles feels highly impactful for them, but the actual dildo part of the Balldo leaves something to be desired. I wish it was a little longer and/or wider, although it’s likely there are legit physics-related reasons why it couldn’t be designed that way.

It’s unlikely I could reach orgasm while being fucked by the Balldo, because orgasm during penetrative sex is already pretty tricky/rare for me and the precarious nature of “ballsex” (as I’ll describe below) just makes that even more true. When we’ve tested it, generally my partner has gotten me off either beforehand or afterward, via oral, toys, or other means. However, the mental aspect of being fucked by a partner’s balls can be super exciting (depending on your kinks/turn-ons); orgasm is not the only indicator of whether a person enjoyed themselves, and I always do enjoy myself when we use the Balldo, because I like causing and witnessing my partners’ pleasure, even in unconventional ways.

Ease-of-use issues & things to keep in mind

Positioning is one of the trickiest aspects of using the Balldo. Both of us wish that the company’s website or the product’s instructions provided information about suggested positions. I’m sure it depends on individual anatomy to some extent, but we found that the Balldo is just too floppy and difficult to manoeuvre in many positions. Insertion seems to be easiest when the person wearing the Balldo is thrusting their balls downward into a partner’s hole, working with gravity rather than against it. The missionary and doggie-style positions can both be adapted to suit the Balldo well, but we’ve found that the best one (for us, anyway) is me at the edge of the bed and them standing in front of me on the floor. This seems to give them the best leverage and makes insertion feel easier than in other positions.

We have an ongoing issue where their balls will slip out of me if we’re not careful. It seems to help if I pull my knees closer to my chest (or even rest my feet on my partner’s shoulders) so that my vagina is angled further upward than usual. But partly, this slippage issue is just the result of the general awkwardness of trying to thrust with your balls when you’re used to thrusting with your cock. Like using a strap-on, using the Balldo requires that your thrusts take on a different centre of gravity, and you may need to practice several times before you’ll really get the hang of it.

My partner and I use condoms when we have PIV sex, but not when we use the Balldo. This is a personal decision based on our own risk tolerances, but it won’t necessarily be the right decision for everyone (and frankly, I’m not sure how one would go about having safer sex with the Balldo, if one was worried about herpes or another STI that can spread via skin contact – maybe an internal condom would work?). We both enjoy the comparative intimacy of their balls being inside me without a barrier – the softness and warmth add to the overall pleasure for both of us.

One thing I hadn’t thought much about before using the Balldo is the sheer amount of cum that can get on both of you when you use this toy. Naturally, when my partner’s balls are inside me, their dick is outside of me, and so, when they have a ballgasm, one or both of us get sprayed with their cum. This is fun and hot in some ways, but also introduces additional risk as far as STI transmission and pregnancy. I always get nervous, for example, that some of the cum will drip into my vag and knock me up. To reduce the odds of this, you could wipe up/wash off ASAP after sex (which is what we do), or you could take the extra step of wearing a condom on your dick while using the Balldo.

Image via Balldo

Aesthetics, packaging & marketing

I was delighted that Balldo sent us the purple version of their toy (which looks to me more like hot pink), as opposed to the standard grey version. My partner is nonbinary, and far too many toys for people with penises are marketed in a hyper-masculine way (more on that in a sec), so it’s nice to have a more “feminine-leaning” color option. It’s also just a fantastic shade of pink.

On the topic of gender… Balldo, like many other sex toy companies, uses a lot of unnecessarily gendered language in their marketing and product copy. So much so that, when our Balldo arrived while my partner was at work, I marked up the included press sheet to make them laugh and hopefully make them feel less othered by the product. It’s 2021, and by now, I really expect sex toy companies to know better than to assume that everyone who has balls is a man, or that all men have balls. Why go to the trouble of making a pink/purple Balldo, which could theoretically be gender-euphoric (or at least not actively dysphoric) for nonbinary and transfeminine people, if you’re not going to follow through on that inclusivity with the language you use?

The packaging in which we received our Balldo was not as nice as the reusable packaging shown on their website, but that’s not a huge deal in my view because I tend to get rid of most sex toy packaging anyway (it just takes up too much space once you own dozens+ of toys). I do wish it came with a storage bag, though, because it would be easy to misplace one or both of the spacer rings if I was transporting them loose in a purse or suitcase.

Image via Balldo

Final thoughts

Will the Balldo become a regular part of our sex life? You know, I actually think it might! Chastity play has become a significant part of my sex life with my partner, and it’s fun to experiment with various “dick substitutes” when they’re locked up, from strap-ons to fingers to the Balldo. It also fits nicely with our fantasies – among others, theirs for being “milked” and mine for having a magic pussy that makes people come uncontrollably.

I’ve just… truly never tried a toy like this, in all my years of sex toy reviewing. I am such a crotchety old sex writer sometimes, complaining about how hardly anyone does anything truly innovative in this industry anymore, and I’m impressed that the folks at Balldo managed to make something actually new. In doing so, they may even launch entirely new genres of sex, porn, and fantasies. The future has arrived!

If you already know you like having your balls stimulated, it’s quite possible you’d love the Balldo. But even if that’s not the case, I think it’s worth checking out if you and your partner(s) are sexually adventurous and driven by curiosity. Hey, even if it doesn’t work for you, at least you’ll have a great story to tell your friends!

 

Thanks so much to Balldo for sending me their product to review! This post was not sponsored – I was not compensated for writing it in any way, aside from receiving a free sample of the product. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, however.

Some Stuff I’ve Been Doing Lately

Hi, all! Regular readers may have noticed it’s been a minute since I did a Monthly Faves round-up. In all honesty, I’ve been super exhausted a lot of the time, due to a mix of professional factors (i.e. launching my first book!!) and medical factors, and I just haven’t had the energy to do a Monthly Faves in a while.

But usually those are the posts where I brag about the stuff I’ve been up to lately, and I’ve been up to a lot lately – so I thought I’d collect some of my recent media appearances, published articles, etc. into one place so you can check ’em out if you’d like to. Here’s some of what I’ve been working on, as of late…

 

Audio

  • My friends at the Off the Cuffs podcast invited me onto their show again to talk about the process of writing my book. We also discussed a listener-submitted question about DD/lg dynamics.
  • The folks at Off the Cuffs also invited me to discuss the movie Red Eye with them for a Patreon bonus segment. It’s one of the horniest, kinkiest movies I’ve ever seen, and also definitely one of my favorite thrillers, so I was glad to chat about it with such smart pervs!
  • The delightful Erin Pim and I talked on her podcast about the kinky stuff in my book, harm reduction in BDSM, and sexuality in Mean Girls, among other things. Lots of giggling in this one!
  • I had a fun time repeat-guesting on What Women* Want. We talked about my book, my experiences trying various kinks I wrote about in the book, and some other miscellany about sexuality and gender.
  • I chatted with Aria Vega on the POV by Lustery podcast about my book, kink/BDSM/fetishes, chronic pain, and more. (Doesn’t Aria have such a gorgeous voice?!)
  • As per usual, I’ve been cohosting weekly episodes of The Dildorks, on all manner of sexual subjects.
  • We wrapped up season 2 of Question Box back in September, after a fun-filled season where we were lucky to chat with fascinating guests, from a storytelling coach to a dating expert to a fiber artist to a fitness instructor.

 

Video

  • I was blessed to get to do a book launch event on Glad Day TV which was so fun! I read some chapters from the book and chatted with Tianna about the writing process, readers’ reactions to the book, my philosophy in writing it, etc.
  • Phoebe D. invited me onto her video podcast, Sexuality After, for a wide-ranging chat about my roots as a sex educator, my forays into kink, some common dating difficulties, and various other things. Fun fact (I guess): I did this interview while quarantining at my parents’ house and dealing with a mystery illness (not COVID), hence the congested voice and loopy thought processes!

 

Writing

Review: Tracy’s Dog OG Pro2

There’s a lot to like about the Tracy’s Dog OG Pro2 – it’s waterproof, made of smooth silicone, has a powerful motor and an elegant aesthetic – but I just don’t think my body is cut out for this type of toy.

It’s a good idea in theory: a pressure-wave clitoral stimulator attached to a vibrating internal portion to hit the G-spot. I have enjoyed some other toys of this type before, and I’ve enjoyed this one too. The issue for me, though, is that generally with this type of toy you can’t use just one part of it at a time – you have to use both. You can’t, for example, get turned on by using just the clitoral stimulator, until you’re wet enough to insert the G-spot arm. You also can’t use the G-spot arm internally by itself without the external part blocking access to your clit. For this reason, I’m glad that this vibrator only costs $59.99 – I’d be hesitant to spend much more than that on a toy that lacks versatility the way this one does.

That said, if you already know for a fact that you like clitoral pressure waves paired with G-spot stimulation (likely because you’ve used two separate toys to achieve this purpose before), the OG Pro2 could be a good upgrade for you. It pairs intense clitoral stimulation with deep, rumbly G-spot vibration, and is one of the best toys of this type that I’ve tried, at a reasonable price point.

I just don’t think I’m the ideal person to use this toy. I prefer to start at a mild level of external-only stimulation and work my way up to higher intensities and dual stimulation, and this type of product doesn’t really allow for that. Its settings, both internally and externally, start at a pretty intense level for my preferences. That, alongside the logistical impossibility of using either of the toy’s two functions separately, makes it so that I have to warm myself up with my hands and/or other toys prior to using this toy, every time. I find that somewhat irritating because, when I buy a sex toy, I want it to be able to take me through the whole arousal process from start to finish. But if you only tend to reach for a toy once you’re already turned on, then this would be a moot point for you.

Another reason I’m not terribly fond of the OG Pro2 is that it’s pretty damn loud. Both of its functions make enough noise to be clearly audible from across a (large) room, though perhaps not through a closed door. I tried using this toy in the bath, and even underwater it made enough of a racket that I got a little self-conscious about being heard.

The clitoral stimulation portion of this toy just… doesn’t feel that good to me. It’s high-pitched/”buzzy,” as far as pressure-wave stimulation goes, meaning that it doesn’t feel like it resonates in the deeper tissues of my internal clit. It’s also shaped in a way that makes it abnormally easy for me to accidentally break the suction seal created by the toy just by moving around slightly, the way I normally do while masturbating. The button that controls the pressure-wave end of the toy seems to make it pulse faster rather than stronger when I turn it up, which makes it pretty hard for me to reach orgasm with this toy; when I get close to climax, usually I want the speed of stimulation to remain fairly consistent while the intensity gradually increases, and this toy can’t really do that.

But as for the positive aspects of this toy, of which there are actually quite a few… I really do like its rumbly G-spot vibrations. They’re stronger and deeper than what I’d generally expect from a $60 toy. They do get buzzier as you turn up the power, but in a way that my G-spot finds pleasing (once properly aroused) rather than annoying or overly numbing. There are only 3 solid speeds followed by several patterns, but I don’t mind that as much in a G-spot vibe because my internal spots appreciate the sense of “motion” created by vibration patterns.

love that this toy is waterproof. Being a dual-stim toy that stays put pretty well when my thighs are closed around it, I can use the OG Pro2 hands-free in the bath while reading erotica on my Kindle or just letting my mind wander. The amount of pressure/tension provided by the toy’s “neck” makes this even easier; it doesn’t tend to slip out of me or move around too much of its own accord, even as I get wetter and more turned on.

I also really like that each of the toy’s two functions is controlled independently by its own button. The buttons are easy to locate in a hurry, whether visually or by touch, and require a decisive press, so they aren’t prone to skipping speeds or needing extra presses like some toys’ buttons are.

While I think the Tracy’s Dog OG Pro2 is overall a great toy in its category and for its price point, it just doesn’t really work for my particular body and preferences. But if you love pressure-wave clitoral stimulation mixed with powerful G-spot vibration, and you’re looking for something easy to use and even potentially hands-free, I think it’s an option worth considering.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

My Book is Out!! Here’s Some Fun Facts About “101 Kinky Things”…

Dear sweet readers, I am thrilled to announce that my first book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do, is officially out worldwide as of today!!!

So many of you have cheered me on throughout the process of writing, editing, and promoting this book, and for that I am forever grateful. It’s been inexpressibly exciting to see you folks starting to receive your copies of the book and posting about it on social media or emailing me to let me know you got your copy. My heart is so full! 💖

To celebrate the book on its “birthday,” here are some random trivia items about 101 Kinky Things; think of it like the director’s commentary of my cute little book!

  • 101 Kinky Things is an elegant hardcover with a decent amount of heft, making it a surprisingly fantastic spanking implement! (I’m not the only one who thinks so…)
  • While the book is aimed at beginners to kink, I’ve received lots of feedback from super-kinky friends of mine who’ve noted that even they found stuff in this book that inspired them to try new things! It’s my hope that this can be a helpful text for any kinky or kink-curious person, regardless of where they are on their personal kink journey.
  • It’s also explicitly meant to be a useful resource whether or not you have a partner. Many of the suggestions given in the book are doable by yourself if you don’t have, or don’t want, a partner to do them with.
  • I finished writing the first draft of my manuscript way back in January 2020 – so, oddly enough, it was written before the coronavirus really ramped up where I live, and is coming out just as things are returning to some semblance of normalcy there vis-à-vis the pandemic. Cool!
  • One of the lengthiest parts of the process was the search for an illustrator. We wanted someone whose portfolio already included sexy stuff, so we could be sure they’d be comfortable with the subject matter. Eventually we settled on Ewa Żak, and I’m SO glad – her illustrations are sensual, sexy, body-positive, diverse, playful, elegant, and just exactly right for this book. (The image for Submission might be my favorite – what’s yours?)
  • My original pitch was called 101 Unusual Kinks & Fetishes and would have explored fascinating oddities of the human sexual psyche like sneezing fetishism, balloon fetishism, and clowns fetishism. Maybe I’ll still get to write a book like that someday!
  • The text on the back of the book says “Curious?” but some of the other options we considered included “You never know until you try,” “Add some sprinkles to your vanilla,” and “Try it. You might like it.”
  • I re-titled the Electrostimulation section “Zapping” so that I could say the book contains “kinky things from Aftercare to Zapping” 😂
  • We’re having a launch party and you’re invited! It’s happening tomorrow (Wednesday, Oct. 13) at the KGB Bar Red Room in New York City, and is also being livestreamed, so you can join us from anywhere around the world. Click here and reserve your free ticket – there will be readings, signing, and live kink demos featuring yours truly!

Thanks again for your support and for reading my words. If you plan on reading the book, I hope you love it, and that it inspires you to expand your erotic possibilities! ❤️