cocktails

Date Diaries: Montreal

Kate Sloan

Montreal is a beautiful city that I love. I’ve only been there a handful of times, but each time, I’ve fallen in love all over again with the bilingualism, the cultural flair, the low rents compared to Toronto (!), the beautiful restaurants and cafés. It’s a city I would love to live in, if my French were a little sharper.

My partner and I spent a week in Montreal recently, and he’s the type to seek out the absolute best places on Foursquare whenever we go anywhere new, so I got to experience a lot of MTL highlights. Here are some spots I think you should check out if you and your beloved(s) ever set foot in this city…

Toqué!

If you’re looking for fine food and great wine, this spot is a must-do. Their foie gras is absolutely divine, and I loved their duck. Their dishes are plated meticulously and artfully – “tweezified,” as my partner says. We were also charmed by how they brought over a portable hook to our table for me to hang my bag from!

Onoir

This was a recommendation from Rae and Piph, whose tastes I trust, so we knew we had to check it out. It’s a restaurant where you eat in COMPLETE DARKNESS. The waitstaff are all blind, and once you’ve been briefed on the protocol of the place and chosen your menu selections, they lead you into a pitch-black room as you cling to their shoulder with one hand. Then they bring you food and drink, bumping each dish or glass into your shoulder so you can take it and place it on the table in front of you, hoping against hope that you won’t lose it once you’ve set it down.

It was an absolutely wild experience having dinner across from someone I’ve had many dinners with but being unable to see him, or my food. It completely changed the way I experienced the meal, and the date. Certainly it gave me more empathy for the blind (though, notably, not all blind people think the restaurant is a great idea), and it also amped up my appreciation for the taste and texture of my food. However, by the end of the meal, my partner and I were starting to panic a little; we wanted to get back to our lit-up, visible world! I’ll always remember shouting our waiter’s name – “MAURICE!” – as we sat together in the dark, frozen in fear but also giggling in glee…

La Finca

This sweet little café was less than a block away from the hotel we stayed at, so we went here several times, and it was great every time. Great coffee, great baked goods, great vibe.

Boho

The classy and tropical vibe of this cocktail bar makes it feel like someplace Don Draper might go while vacationing in Hawaii. And my drink was served in a plastic pineapple, so I don’t know what else you could want from an establishment, really.

Le Cartet

Hard to go past this place for fancy breakfast/brunch! I ordered a big skillet full of eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, and toast – pretty much everything I could want from a breakfast – and a big ol’ maple latte. (When in Québec, consume as much maple stuff as possible. You gotta.)

Le Mal Nécessaire

While my boyfriend tells me this isn’t technically a tiki bar because we didn’t see any tikis, they do have a tiki-ish vibe and you can order a cocktail served in a full-size pineapple, so there’s that. I loved the atmosphere in this cute little underground bar.

Bagel, Etc.

Leonard Cohen supposedly hung out here a lot when he lived in Montreal. It’s an eclectically-decorated restaurant known for its breakfast and brunch offerings. I love to get a big breakfast special here – eggs, bacon, the works – with an obligatory locally-made bagel. Divine.

La Grande Roue de Montreal

If you think Ferris wheels are at all romantic or exciting, this one’s worth a visit. You get a fantastic view of the city, plus you get to walk along the lovely waterfront to get there. You’ll be placed in groups of 8 for the ride, so it’s not the most intimate experience, but it’s still nice nonetheless.

Moishes

This steakhouse obviously does steak quite well; their shrimp cocktail is also great and our meal came with GIANT PICKLES that delighted me to no end. Also, can confirm that Moishes leftovers hold up: the day after our dinner here, I shoveled cold steak and potatoes into my face while sitting in our hotel bed and they were honestly still delightful.

Olive et Gourmando

I’m still daydreaming about the sweet ricotta dish at this sweet brunch spot in historic Old Montreal. They also had fantastic fresh-squeezed orange juice, and staff who were attentive and (frankly) attractive as hell. We will definitely go back here next time we’re in MTL.

Dominion Square Tavern

This unassuming gastropub ranks among the best cocktail spots in Montreal, which I felt doubtful about until I actually tried one of their drinks. Their “Gin & Mint” – actually just a Southside, my fave, with lemon juice – was blissful, and they do a super-boozy “Canadian Old Fashioned” that led to some good sloshed conversations at their cozy bar. I bet their food is great too, but we didn’t try any.

Divine Chocolatier

If artisanal chocolate is your jam (so to speak), you gotta check out this little chocolate shop. Their truffles are adorable little bites of perfection, and their “secret bar” is intriguingly delicious. (I asked “What makes it a ‘secret’ bar?” and the owner smiled mysteriously and told me, “It’s a secret.”)

Belon

This oyster bar was a block from our hotel, and boy, were we glad. It’s spacious and sophisticated, with a fully-stocked bar and – of course – amazing oysters, with all the fixins. We were feeling indulgent and had two dozen – whoops.

Au Pied de Cochon

This very, very French spot has some weird-yet-delicious items on their menu. I got a squid ink risotto – definitely one of the strangest things I’ve ever eaten or even seen at a restaurant – and my partner got this odd “duck in a can” dish. The portions were big and the atmosphere was jovial. I mean, how can you not love a place that’ll serve you champagne and a jet-black risotto that “tastes like the sea”?

Café Olimpico

This Mile End spot is known for its excellent coffee. It’s also the spot where author Sean Michaels (my cousin) wrote his Giller Prize-winning novel Us Conductors, which I love, so I’m biased. Get an allongé and a biscotti and soak up the atmosphere.

Montreal Improv

Montreal has a robust improv comedy scene, and this theatre offers shows in both English and French. If you can see anything featuring their director, Marc Rowland, absolutely do – I’m a total improv snob and have rarely laughed so hard at a show as I did watching him do a longform set at Sunday Sunday.

The Coldroom

You have to ring a bell at a mysteriously blank door and wait to be let into this secretive underground cocktail bar, but it’s worth the rigamarole. They can make you any classic cocktail, as well as several drinks from their in-house menu. I’ve ordered a Southside at nearly every bar I’ve visited in Canada and the U.S. over the past year and a half, and the one a bartender made me here was one of my all-time faves.

Atwater Cocktail Club

Another must-visit if you love cocktails, especially classics. The bartenders here are skilled and personable – ours took the time to learn our names, and chatted with us in between bringing us stellar drinks (the margarita I had here was one of my fave drinks of the whole trip). It’s a bit tricky to find the entrance of this place, hidden away between two buildings, but it’s worth sleuthing out.

L’Express

This place is just a good old-fashioned classy French restaurant, complete with charmingly cordial waiters, an epic wine menu, and a killer cacio e pepe that rivals the ones I had in Italy. Their desserts are particularly magnificent.

 

Do you have favorite date spots in Montreal?

Fancy a Girly Juice Cocktail?

Kate Sloan

I should’ve known, when I started dating a cocktails aficionado, that eventually he would invent a drink called the Girly Juice.

Truth be told, given that the name of my blog was originally yoinked from an ex-lover who used to refer to my vaginal fluids as such, ideally this drink would include a splash o’ vag. But I’ll leave genital imbibement to bukkake enthusiasts and the author of Semenology.

If anything, I wanted my blog’s namesake beverage to include ingredients I adore – and since my partner has ample experience ordering for me at restaurants, he’s very aware of what those ingredients are. I love bright, sweet drinks made with citrusy juices (see, for example, the Southside or the London Calling), and I love warm spices like cinnamon and ginger.

Obviously a drink inspired by me and my blog should also have, at the very least, a pinkish tinge, because I’m a feminine femme through and through.

So, without further ado… here’s how to make the ~official~ Girly Juice cocktail!

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz London dry gin (we used Tanqueray but my partner also recommends Sipsmith)
  • 1 to 1.5 oz pink grapefruit juice (more if you like a fruitier flavor, less if you like a boozier flavor)
  • ¾ oz cinnamon syrup
  • 2 dashes ginger bitters or cinnamon bitters (we used Dillon’s ginger bitters)

Pour all ingredients into a shaker filled with ice, and shake. Strain and serve in a chilled coupe glass. Garnish with a cinnamon stick and/or a grapefruit peel twist.

Health note: grapefruit juice is known to interact poorly with certain medications, so do some research and make sure it’s safe for you to consume before partaking of this drink! If you want a suitable replacement, my beau suggests an equivalent amount of orange or blood orange juice.

If you try this cocktail, let us know what you think!

Date Diaries: Towers, Oysters, & Amorous Nights

Kate Sloan

Hi! Welcome to something new I’m trying, Date Diaries, a feature where I’ll write about dates I go on. I’m revisiting a week I spent with my partner in Toronto back in December, for our first anniversary…

On Matt’s first night back in town, I went to meet him at the airport, which has become a tradition for us. We have a protocol whereby I have to ask him, prior to his takeoff, what he’d like me to bring him at the airport – food, gum, coffee, whatever – and then meet him in the arrivals area. It’s exciting, getting to see him at the earliest possible moment, rather than waiting for him to Uber to my apartment like I used to.

On this day – December 12th – I subwayed across town to Pearson Airport in the west end from a psychiatrist appointment in the east end, trying to read my Kindle on the train but failing because I was too excited to concentrate. Once we found each other in arrivals, we took a car back to my place, ~reconnected~ with some sex-‘n’-kink, and then were faced with the question of where to go for dinner.

This always happens. Usually he gets in late, because air travel is a chaotic nightmare, and by the time we’re settled and ready to eat, many restaurants have closed their kitchens. So it’s become a tradition of sorts for us to go to Bar Isabel on those first Toronto nights, because their kitchen is open until at least midnight (bless them, bless them all). It’s one of the best-reviewed restaurants in the city, and for good reason: the ambiance is chill and romantic, the tapas-style menu is impeccable, the cocktails are swell, and the servers are top-notch.

As the clock ticked over to 12:00AM of the next day – December 13th, our anniversary – I tweeted about how happy I was to have spent a year with such a wonderful person, and we toasted to our relationship, our love, and our future. Aww.

What I wore: I was feeling romantic so I put on the dress I was wearing the day that we met, one year previous. It’s a black and red floral-print fit-and-flare dress I got at H&M god knows how many years ago. I also wore my collar, of course.

What we ordered: We usually get the punch when we go to Bar Isabel; I think this time we got the “fancy punch,” which contains liquors, citruses, teas, herbs, and bubbly wine (they change up the specific ingredients on a night-to-night basis), because we were celebrating! We ate oysters, bread, manchego cheese, shishito peppers, and grilled octopus. Divine.

My boyf is an over-the-top romantic, making him a good match for someone like me who is sentimental as fuck and also likes to write about dates she goes on (hiii). For our anniversary, he surprised me by taking me to one of the fanciest and most tourist-y places you can go for dinner in Toronto: the 360 Restaurant at the top of the CN Tower. As we were walking to the elevator that would take us up to the restaurant, we were bustled into a photography area where they snapped some cheesy pictures of us in front of a green screen – hence the adorable watermarked monstrosity you see above.

The whole conceit of the 360 Restaurant is that you get the best possible view of Toronto, and the entire restaurant rotates slowly, so you get to see all the way around over the course of your meal. I hadn’t been up there since my mom took me to an opening-night party for The Lion King back when she was working as an entertainment reporter more than a decade ago, so it was cool to go back, especially with someone I love so much.

After dinner, we checked out the famous glass floor and then cabbed to Civil Liberties for a nightcap before heading home. Ideal date night!

What I wore: Sir told me weeks beforehand that if I planned on buying a new dress for our anniversary, he wanted it to be blue and shiny/sparkly in some way – which, honestly, knowing me, it would’ve been anyway. I trawled the local mall all day, trying on several unsatisfactory contenders, before finally landing on this $17 pale blue velvet spaghetti-strap dress from Forever 21. I wore it with black tights, my collar, a black cashmere cardigan, and the gorgeous blue Coach bag Matt had just given me as an anniversary gift. The suit he’s wearing, by the way, is the same one he wore on our second date; aww.

What we ordered: We split a dozen oysters and I thiiink I had roasted salmon with risotto on the side. And, as per usual, we drank excellent cocktails, though I can’t remember what they were. I was pretty focused on the cute boy across the table from me!

Sir introduced me to La Banane and it’s become one of our favorite Toronto dinner spots. The food and service are both absolutely incredible. I feel like a queen every time we go here.

After dinner, we rounded out our evening by going to see Hook-Up at the Bad Dog Theatre (their hilarious and often quite romantic runaway hit) and stopping by Civil Liberties again for more cocktails. Three of our very favorite things in one night – amazing!

What I wore: This dress is one of Sir’s faves in my wardrobe so he chose it for our fancy night out; it’s a form-fitting, low-cut, navy velvet dress with an asymmetric hem. I bought it at Forever 21 when I briefly had a sugar daddy, envisioning wearing it on elegant dates with him, though that plan never came to pass! This time I paired it with black tights, a black cashmere cardigan, my collar, and my new Coach bag again.

What we ordered: Our appetizers were oysters again (we’re so predictable) and seared foie gras with hazelnuts and a little cup of wine on the side. I had their duck breast entrée (soooo tender and good) and Sir had the Eurobass. My fave cocktail here is the Penicillin; I don’t normally like smoky Scotch but this drink blends it with lemon, ginger, and honey, making it much more palatable. Toward the end of the meal, the restaurant staff had to re-seat us to make room for a big group that was coming in, and they sent over two glasses of amaro on the house for our trouble (my first time ever trying amaro!). Sooo fuckin’ classy.

Been on any date you’ve especially loved lately?

More Toronto Date Spots

Kate Sloan

I’ve written about my favorite date locations in Toronto before, but now I am a grown-ass adult. Just kidding. Very much not that. However, since writing that post, I did start dating someone who has much more refined taste than me in things like cocktails and fine dining, and he has introduced me to many places in my own city that I had no idea existed and had no idea I’d love so much. So I thought it might be time to revisit this series.

A note: many of these places are pricier than I would typically recommend, and I’m aware that that makes them inaccessible to many. These could become your go-to date spots if you’re well-off enough to make that happen, but if you’re like me, they’re likelier to become special-occasion-only sanctuaries. Or maybe you’ll convince your sugar daddy or grandfather or tech-bro friend to take you to one. Hey, I don’t know your life.

Northwood has become my favorite cocktail bar in the city. (BlogTO agrees. Be still, my heart.) The atmosphere is chill and relaxed, though still fancy enough that I don’t feel out of place if I get dressed up for a Northwood jaunt. They do a bunch of proprietary drinks as well as a whole host of classics, and if you have an off-menu special request, they’ll usually do that, too. I adore their Lady Grey Sour (a sharp and refreshing whiskey sour with, oddly enough, black pepper sprinkled on top) and Black Walnut (a cinnamon-y, nutty sour that’s perfect for fall); they’ve also made me many a Southside, my favorite cocktail, and it’s always wonderful. If Ilissa is working, you know you’re especially in for a treat. Crucially, I feel completely at home here whether I’m with a date or just by myself with a journal or book. This place is a fave and will remain a fave.

Insomnia is partly known for its late-night eats (hence the name) but I’ve mostly come here for lunch and brunch. Their French toast, eggs specials, and breakfast cocktails are all delightfully fancy and the food is very filling. I’m particularly enamored with whatever magical tomatoey sauce they put on their homefries. The atmosphere in here is bustling and you’ll probably have to wait for a table, but it’s worth it.

Jacobs & Co. is a fancy-ass steakhouse tucked away in a nondescript building. I felt like a queen tottering up and down their many staircases in my high heels. The staff is fiercely smart and knowledgeable; our server gave us an extensive spiel about every cut of steak on the menu and helped us choose the right main and sides for our preferences. You’ve gotta try the incredible Caesar salad, prepared table-side; we also loved our oysters and potato puree. And of course, the steak was out-of-this-world delicious. I was especially charmed that they were able to make me my favorite off-menu cocktail, the Southside (sensing a theme?), and that they sent us home with plastic-wrapped dinner rolls to enjoy later that night or in the morning. The attention to detail here is commendable.

Bar Isabel is a Spanish-inspired bar and restaurant that gets pretty much universally positive reviews from Toronto foodies. The seductively low lighting makes this place feel intimate and cozy, and the kitchen is open late (midnight most days, 2AM Fridays and Saturdays), so this is an ideal spot for a post-sex bite or a night-owl date. I love munching perfectly-cured ham and sharp cheese on bread and sipping cocktails while cuddled up to my love.

El Catrin is a Mexican restaurant in the heart of one of my favorite Toronto neighborhoods, the Distillery District. If you crave authentic Mexican food and drinks, this place is a must-do. I adore their chicken tacos, guacamole, and tortilla chips. Having a traditional margarita here also kickstarted a months-long margarita obsession for me, and honestly, I’ve been unable to find one I like better in Toronto than the ones made here.

La Banane is where my darlin’ taught me to eat oysters – aww! It’s a fancy French restaurant with a seafood-heavy menu. We loved sitting at the bar, where we could watch chefs handling seafood up close and chat with them a bit (my partner’s an extrovert, okay). We were impressed with how the staff went above-and-beyond to make us happy, and seemed genuinely invested in making sure our meal was great.

Auberge du Pommier is a French restaurant located, weirdly, in the otherwise quiet and humdrum North York. I was surprised to see such a beautiful, ornate place hidden in that area. We sat on the lush patio and sipped white wine while marveling at the gorgeous decor. I tried foie gras for the first time here, and it was prepared to perfection. The black truffle risotto here is also one of my faves I’ve had, and I say that as a confirmed risotto fiend.

Queen Margherita Pizza is a big, bright Neapolitan pizzeria with multiple locations; I’ve only been to the Dundas West one. As you might expect, their wood-fired pizzas are A++. I also dig their lavender old fashioned, though my boyfriend insists a drink can’t technically be an old fashioned if there’s lemon juice in it. Oh well; it’s still delicious. The waitstaff here are always friendly, whether I’m here with a friend, a partner, or just a book to read. I love sitting in the window here and people-watching while I eat.

Pray Tell is a hoppin’ bar with great brunch offerings. It’s truly the epitome of Fancy Millennial Food, with items like avocado toast and mochi donuts appearing on the menu. We enjoyed their unusual selection of cocktails and their goofy, friendly staff.

Civil Liberties is a cocktail nerd’s dream, but also a great place to go if you know nothing about cocktails and nonetheless want to drink some. They have no menu; you just ask for what you want, however vaguely, and the genius bartenders will bring you something cool. I’ve ordered “a refreshing sour,” “something with ginger or cinnamon,” “something like a Southside,” and so on, always with excellent results. The vibe of this place is usually a little louder and more crowded than I would prefer for an intimate date, but I’m a sensitive li’l introvert, so your mileage may vary. In any case, if you and your sweetheart can get a couple of seats at the bar, you’ll be able to snuggle up close and whisper seductively in each other’s ears while you sip your drinks.

The Broadview Hotel was built from the wreckage of ancient strip club Jilly’s, which I unfortunately never got to visit before it closed for good. At least its replacement is lovely, though. I haven’t stayed at this hotel yet, but I’ve been to both the ground-floor bar and the rooftop bar. Both are beautifully designed and serve tasty cocktails, but we preferred the rooftop bar for its better, faster service and (obviously) better views. If you’re looking for a great rooftop patio in the city, it’s hard to go past the Broadview (and the Drake).

What are your favorite Toronto date spots?

Cocks & Cocktails: Drink Pairings For Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

One of my Sir’s many talents is having a cocktail recommendation on tap for any occasion. He always orders my drinks when we go out together, and it gives me a feeling much like when he chooses exactly the right sex toy for what I’m craving on any given day: like he knows me and my needs better than I know myself. *swoon*

Recently, we were brainstorming some collaborations we could do together, and it occurred to me that we could write about cocktail pairings for sex toys. He brightened at the suggestion, and I could practically hear his mind whirring. Here are the pairings we came up with!

The We-Vibe Tango is a rumbly little bullet vibrator, perfectly sized and shaped for targeted clitoral stimulation. It comes in fun, sassy shades of pink and blue.

Sir recommends pairing the Tango with a Blackberry Rumble. (A rumble is a bramble made with rum instead of gin. It’s a pun, get it?!) “It’s a crushed-ice drink, which is rumbly, in a way, because you’ve gotta kinda bang it around,” he told me. “It’s very sweet and it ends up being pink, like the Tango. It’s also served with a short, thin straw reminiscent of the Tango’s shape. Crush that into your clit!” Except maybe don’t really. It sounds pointy. The Tango would probably feel better.

The Magic Wand Rechargeable is my favorite wand vibrator. It’s a lot of people’s favorite, actually! It’s a big, bulky behemoth with four reliable settings and a workhorse of a battery. It’s been a nightstand staple of mine for years!

“Because the Magic Wand is kind of the O.G., I would have to pair it with the Old Fashioned,” Sir said. The jumbo-sized ice cube usually found in an Old Fashioned resembles the big, unwieldy head of the Magic Wand – but they’ve got some similarities philosophically, too. “They’ve both inspired a lot of things and they’re still as good today as they were when they were first invented,” Sir explained. “There is no need to change them; they are immutable truths of the universe.”

The Hot Octopuss Pulse II is a vaguely tube-shaped vibrator meant to stimulate the penis with deep, rumbly oscillations. It has a simple, no-nonsense aesthetic, and is known for helping penis-owners experience a new and different type of orgasm.

“Like the Pulse, the Tuxedo No. 2 cocktail is a twist on a classic,” Sir explained. “In the same way that the Pulse throws you for a loop a little bit with its shape and its deep vibrations, the Tuxedo throws you for a loop too: you think you’re drinking a martini, but then it hits you with the Maraschino and the absinthe and hey, it’s not a martini!” The Pulse is also black and wraps around your dick… a little like a tuxedo. You know, a tuxedo for your dick.

The VixSkin Outlaw is a big, meaty, realistic dildo made of dual-density silicone. If you want girth, length, and realism, it’s hard (pun intended) to go past VixSkin.

Sir recommends pairing the Outlaw with the Zombie cocktail. “Served in a pretty large glass and difficult to make, it’s an intimidating drink – so much so that when it was originally served, its inventor wrote ‘maximum 2 per customer’ next to the Zombie on the menu,” he told me. “It’s like a big realistic dildo in that way. You’re not gonna take the Outlaw every time, probably. It’s more of a special-occasion dick.” He noted that the Zombie was supposedly originally invented to help a hungover customer get through a business meeting, which it definitely would not do, but the Outlaw could probably get you through a breakup. “Plus the ‘Outlaw Zombie’ just sounds cool. Like a zombie breaking the law.”

The Njoy Pure Wand is a C-shaped piece of stainless steel with a differently-sized round bulb on each end. It’s perfect for putting firm, unrelenting pressure on your G-spot or prostate. It is cold, intense, and formidable.

Sir says you should pair the Pure Wand with a daiquiri – fresh or frozen, though it’ll evoke chilly steel more vividly if it’s frozen. “The daiquiri’s my favorite simple, bold drink. It’s bright, sparkling, classic, intense, and timeless, like the Pure Wand,” he told me. “Plus, in the same way that the Pure Wand has one end that’s bigger and one that’s smaller, you can do a daiquiri with white rum if you want it less intense, or with dark rum if you want it funkier and more interesting. You get two different sensations out of that, and you can start with one and move to the other, just like with the Pure Wand.”

What cocktail would you pair with your favorite sex toy?

 

Thanks to my Sir for his excellent contributions, and thanks also to Friction for sponsoring this post! They’re one of the companies helping me get to this year’s Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, and I’m very grateful. Check out their selection of body-safe, high-quality sex toys!