outfit

Behind the Seams: Red Flowers & Pink Bows

Kate Sloan

May 29th, 2018. I wore this out to a café to do a bunch of dayjob work, and then to a ServiceOntario office to get my health card renewed. Sometimes I like to dress cute on days that are utterly unglamorous, just to infuse a little je ne sais quoi into the banality of the day-to-day. I also feel like I usually get better service wherever I go when I’m dressed nicely and have lipstick on… which is problematic from a classism perspective, but good to know…

I’d been inexplicably anxious about getting my health card renewed, because bureaucracy is nerves-inducing even for folks who don’t have an anxiety disorder – so when I got it all done, my Sir texted me, “You did it!!!!! Proud of you” (so many exclamation points!!) and sent me a video of him winking as a reward. I am so #blessed.

On an unrelated note: I love this dress, partly because I once wore it on a second date with a cute lawyer that ended in alleyway makeouts so mesmerizing, I walked home with wet thighs. I wonder what ever happened to that guy…

What I’m wearing:
• Sunglasses – the hotel gift shop at last year’s Woodhull
• Red floral-print dress – H&M ($15!!)
• Maybelline Matte Ink liquid lipstick in “Pioneer”
• Bright turquoise Coach turnlock tote (stuffed, as per usual, with my laptop, journal, Kindle, wallet, chargers, makeup bag, keys, gum, and various other necessities)
• Red and black striped socks – the Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots

May 31st, 2018. When I went to see my tattoo artist, Laura, to get my floral upper-arm piece done, she mentioned that she’d be willing to give me a free touch-up on the pink bows she’d put on my thighs almost two years earlier. What an absolute sweetheart! I was grateful, because, while my thigh tattoos are probably my favorite tattoos I have (shh, don’t tell the others!), there were a few patchy or faded spots, and I was thrilled to have the chance to get them fixed.

Earlier in the day, I went to a café to get some work done, wearing my collar and my medium Pure Plug as per my Sir’s instructions. He texted me, by way of explanation, “I really want to be inside you and around you and in control of you today. I want you to be as mine as you can be from a distance.” Not that he really needed to explain himself… In any case, it put me in a submissive headspace that fit well with getting my “good girl” tattoos touched up with a painful needle later on! (Before you ask: no, I did not wear the plug to the tattoo parlor!)

The touch-up itself was pretty painful, and took longer than I was expecting: about an hour, because Laura is a perfectionist (an excellent quality in a tattoo artist!). But I got through it just fine, and now my li’l pink bows look much better!

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in little pigtail-buns
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Green tank top – American Apparel (I wore this a ton last summer, including, most memorably, during a breakup)
• Black multi-tiered skirt – thrifted in ~2008 (and I’m still wearing it all these years later because a good, basic, versatile black skirt is essential!)
• Green and black striped socks – the Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots

June 10th, 2018. I’m bad at taking weekends off. That’s just #FreelancerProblems, I guess: when you’re (mostly) your own boss, get to set your own hours, and know that working harder = making more money, sometimes it’s hard to stop. So what was supposed to be my “nice relaxing Sunday afternoon” turned into prepping for a radio interview and then actually doing said interview, all caffeine-hyped and nervous. I think it turned out well, though!

This shirt bears the name and logo of the Wythe Hotel, the beautiful boutique hotel where my boyfriend told me he loved me on our third date. (No-chill nerds 5ever!) I ordered it on a whim, craving a memento of that night (I mean, aside from the postcard and coaster I’d already pilfered from our hotel room), and I’ve been wearing it a lot. It’s super soft and comfy and reminds me of how happy I was that night in February, and how happy I’ve been since.

What I’m wearing:
• Sunglasses – hotel gift shop in Alexandria
• Wythe Hotel T-shirt (they also make one in white but I think navy was the right call for me)
• Tiny black denim shorts – H&M
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Hot pink Kate Spade New Bond Street Florence satchel (Kate had passed away earlier that week so it seemed right to pull out this old fave again, in tribute to the whimsy and color she brought into this world)

What are you wearing and loving lately?

Behind the Seams: “Weekend with the Boyf” Edition

Kate Sloan

May 26th, 2018. My boyfriend was visiting from New York for 3 whole days – the longest stretch of time we’ve ever gotten to spend together – so we decided to make it count by cramming in as many nights out as possible. (And also a lot of time for sex, natch.)

We’d pre-planned a Fancy Date Night. He wore a dark grey suit and looked so handsome I felt a bit faint every time I looked at him. I wore this: a tight, curvaceous, asymmetrical, blue velvet dress I’d bought months previous and had never actually worn out. It felt too sexy or too fancy for every occasion I considered it for – except this one: a night out with my beloved.

We took a car up to North York for dinner at Auberge au Pommier, a fine French restaurant with an achingly beautiful garden patio. I had a cocktail called the Baiser Volé (which translates to “Stolen Kiss”!) and a blissful black truffle risotto I’m still fantasizing about. Damn.

Then we cuddled in our Uber all the way to the Bad Dog Theatre to see Hookup, an improv show with an ingenious format: the improvisors choose two random people from the audience, interview them about their likes, dislikes, and defining traits, and then perform a short improvised play about what would happen if those two people hooked up. We laughed so hard we cried and couldn’t breathe. It was a fantastic night.

What I’m wearing:
• Dark blue velvet dress – Forever 21
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Pale blue Coach Mercer satchel
• (In one of the photos) Boyfriend’s suit jacket, because it was chilly at night and he’s a gentleman

May 27th, 2018. One of my favorite areas in Toronto is the Distillery District, so I’ve been wanting to take my darlin’ there for a while. He made us a reservation at El Catrin, a well-reviewed Mexican restaurant in the Distillery, and we trekked across town to get there. We drank incredible margaritas and ate wonderful food and made heart-eyes at our cute waiter. Perf.

Then we took the subway back over to the west side of the city and stopped into Northwood (our fave!) for a drink. I ordered a mint julep (or, rather, le boyf ordered it for me) and it was perfectly refreshing for this hot, sweaty day.

Then we walked over to Comedy Bar to see Crimson Wave, the weekly feminist stand-up comedy night there. The show itself was hilarious, but actually one of my most treasured memories from this night was the few minutes we spent in the bar lobby before the show started, nerding out together over Angels in America, my favorite play. (We were debating what we think Prior sees when he looks through the peep-stones.) Guhhh, I’m so in love.

What I’m wearing:
• Purple lipstick-print dress – CowCow
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Pink polka-dotted kneesocks – ?
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Pale blue Coach Mercer satchel

May 28th, 2018. On our last afternoon before he had to head to the airport to go back to New York, we went to the Federal for brunch and then back to Northwood to do our traditional post-date debrief over cocktails. I had a Southside and a Corpse Reviver #2, both flawless. We kept getting distracted from our conversation by the easy competence of the pretty bartender who was training some new staff on how to make cocktails while making several perfect ones for us.

I also gave a fairly stellar blowjob in this outfit before we left my apartment in the morning, but that’s neither here nor there…

What I’m wearing:
• Blue and white gingham dress – H&M
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Pale blue Coach Mercer satchel
• Red lipstick I was testing for a forthcoming part 2 of my blowjob lipsticks post (JUST YOU WAIT!)

What’s your summer aesthetic lookin’ like so far?

Behind the Seams: Babygirls, Boots, & a Boy Shirt

Kate Sloan

May 16th, 2018. I wore this to go get dinner and drinks with my friend Anais at the Pour Boy, a favorite local haunt. We talked animatedly about boys, girls, kink, and theatre – among other things – over Long Island iced teas. She was wearing a bodysuit that said “Babygirl,” which made me feel extra grateful to have such great and like-minded femme friends in my life!

I also got recognized by a blog reader on my walk over there, who stopped me in the street and said, “Excuse me, are you Kate Sloan? I love your blog!” (if you’re reading this: hi, hello, you made my day!). This has happened a few times in the past month and makes me feel like a goddamn celebrity!

Going back to the Pour Boy always reminds me of dates I’ve been on there… One such episode happened two summers ago when I went for drinks with a new dommy boy I was seeing. He knew way more than I do about beer, so he asked if he could order my drink. I asked, “In a beer snob way, or in a dommy way?” and he pondered this and said, “Both.” I replied, “Ah, a beer dom. I like it.” Now, having drinks ordered for me is part of my protocol with my current partner, so that date feels indicative of future kinks in my memory! (The Pour Boy is also near lots of makeout-friendly back alleys, FYI. But don’t tell anyone I told you that.)

What I’m wearing:
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession”
• American Apparel figure skater dress (previously discussed here) – secondhand on eBay
• L’Amour-Propre custom-engraved heart-shaped lock on a silver chain
• Black leather Frye harness boots (you might have noticed I legitimately wear these almost every day… I probably need to switch to “summer shoes” soon but I dunno, I just love these so much!)
• Danier leather jacket thrown over the top because it was chilly out

May 19th, 2018. When I moved out of my parents’ house last summer, my dad made me promise I would come back and visit at least weekly. (This is, fortunately, feasible; they live about a half-hour journey from my new place via subway.) So I’m there overnight about once a week, but I usually forget to bring a change of clothes, because I’m clever like that. This means I end up poking through the closetful of little-worn rejects in my old bedroom to find something to wear the next morning. This pale blue slip was one such find, but I think it actually worked out pretty well. When I put on this outfit, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “I look like a mermaid at a frat party.”

The T-shirt is a hand-me-down from an ex-FWB. I went over to his place for an illicit romp two summers ago, and in the morning, we realized we couldn’t find my dress anywhere. We looked in the bed, under the bed, on the floor, in the bathroom, in the kitchen… It was just gone. So he gave me this translucent, pale-green, weirdly scrubs-reminiscent T-shirt to throw over the leggings I’d been wearing, and let me keep it because he didn’t like it much anyway. It’s a pretty ugly shirt, IMO, but makes me happy because it reminds me of that boy I’m still so fond of. (And, for the record, we found my dress eventually.)

What I’m wearing:
• Pale green American Eagle men’s T-shirt, worn knotted on one side (a good trick for giving shapeless garments a curvier silhouette) – inherited from a FWB
• Pale blue slip – vintage on eBay many years ago (it also looks super cute tucked into a skirt)
• Turquoise leather Coach turnlock tote
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Hair elastic on my wrist, even though Cosmo says it’s ruining my outfit 🙄
• (Unseen) Short black raincoat I unearthed from my parents’ coat closet because it was cold and rainy outside

May 20th, 2018. It was warm and almost summery out on this day, and I felt uncomplicatedly happy about life. Hooray!

Busted out these clogs because I was getting bored of wearing the aforementioned boots every day. I bought these way back in 2014 after lusting after the A Beautiful Mess ladies’ collaboration with Swedish Hasbeens. Mine are by Lotta From Stockholm, a more affordable brand that I adore. Did you know: the one and only time I veered into the world of fashion journalism, it was to write about these clogs on xoJane!

Wearing these for the first time in a long time, I remembered just how weirdly comfortable they are for heels, and decided to order another pair: yellow ones with a peeptoe. They’re a little out of my sartorial comfort zone but I think they’re gonna look great with my summer dresses and flippy skirts!

What I’m wearing:
• Dark grey tank top – Old Navy
• Lilac lacy bralette – the Gap
• Navy high-waisted ponte skirt – Old Navy
• Lotta From Stockholm navy Highwood T-bar clogs

What’s your footwear of choice in the summertime, fellow feminine types?

Behind the Seams: Babes & Dates

Kate Sloan

May 11th, 2018. The “little boy at summer camp” vibez are so real. I wore this out to my fave local diner (which has since CLOSED, boooo) to finish up some dayjob work over bacon and eggs, and then hopped on the subway and went to the mall. Ended up buying a bunch of dresses and other assorted cuteness at H&M (including some items you’ll see elsewhere in this post!). It was a good day.

This shirt says “Babes Do It Better” and I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but I like it anyway. Do you ever acquire a new piece of clothing that you think you’ll only wear occasionally but then you start wearing it all the time? This shirt achieved that status for me last summer… Sometimes a garment just feels right, for whatever reason.

What I’m wearing:
• “Babes Do It Better” T-shirt – Forever 21
• Danier leather jacket – hand-me-down from a cousin, adorned with pins from Kinktionary, L’Amour-Propre, and Hippo Campus
• Black rhinestoned shorts – H&M many years ago
• Giant Red Robot kneesocks – bought from R. Stevens at the Toronto Arts & Comics Festival in 2011 (I had been reading his webcomic for many years at that point and fangirled pretty hard about meeting him)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Coach turquoise leather turnlock tote – bought on sale for half-price last year and carried damn near everywhere since

May 12th, 2018. This was a weird/cute day in my long-distance relationship. In the morning I went to a local café to work on some articles for a copywriting client, and then I went to 7 West for lunch because I was craving their pesto pollo pasta. My boyfriend chatted with me over the phone throughout my meal – a frequent and favorite type of phone date we do – and then we just kept talking for my entire walk back to my apartment. Once I got home, we talked for several more hours, including some excellent phone sex and lots of giggles. All told, our phone date that day lasted 9 hours, because we’re weirdos in love. I adore finding ways to prioritize intimacy even when we’re so far apart.

I felt really cute in this outfit. It’s a bit “schoolgirl meets mime,” n’est-ce pas?

What I’m wearing:
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession” (definitely a current fave)
• Black and white striped tank top (new) – H&M
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black and white polka-dotted skirt – ASOS
• Black and white striped thigh-high socks (originally bought to be part of a schoolgirl costume for Halloween) – Amazon, I think?
• Black leather Frye harness boots

May 13th, 2018. I had a hard time getting out of bed on this day, so my Sir gave me some specific instructions and time constraints re: getting showered and dressed, and that helped motivate me a lot. It was Mother’s Day and I was headed to see my mom and give her a gift, so I opted to dress in a feminine, springy way I thought she would appreciate (and she did!).

This outfit also felt very DD/lg to me – pigtails, pink lipstick, sparkly jewelry, and short A-line dresses will do that – so I reflected a fair bit on what it means for me to “feel little” and how that manifests in my body and brain. (I want to write about this eventually!) I noticed myself feeling much cuter and more embodied than usual, and I think it was because my exterior matched how I usually feel – or want to feel – on the inside: feminine, optimistic, youthful, spunky, cute. Clothes are about so much more than just the visual!

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in high pigtails (I hope I never feel “too old” to wear pigtails; they’re cute at any age, as far as I’m concerned)
• Big blue and black sunglasses – bought on a whim at the hotel gift shop at last year’s Woodhull
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession” again
• Floral dress (new) – H&M (I have this exact dress in 12+ different colorways and will keep buying them as long as H&M keeps making new ones, because they’re super flattering and comfortable and FIFTEEN DOLLARS EACH)
• Pink sparkly Tarina Tarantino heart necklace – vintage on eBay
• Black leather Frye harness boots

While we’re talkin’ fashion… What’s your favorite piece of clothing right now? Also: got any great spring lipsticks to recommend?

Behind the Seams: Fun, Flirty, & Flu-y

Kate Sloan

May 4th, 2018. After a long battle with a bad flu, I was soooo ready to feel pretty again. So I asked my Sir to choose my outfit for a jaunt to the Hart House Theatre to see The Artist & The Pervert, a new documentary about kink educator Mollena Williams and her husband/Master, world-famous composer Georg Friedrich Haas. I wanted to feel kinky and sophisticated, and this outfit totally fit the bill.

I have a long and storied history with this dress. It’s the American Apparel figure skater dress, which I already own in a few different colorways. Years ago, before American Apparel closed, I tried on this dress but ultimately opted not to buy it, because the price tag was a little steep for the broke-ass university student I was at that time. But then I lived in regret, particularly once AA went bankrupt, and tried to buy one on eBay. The seller ghosted me, however, and I had to file for a refund through Paypal. Finally, years later, I found the dress in my size in another eBay shop, and now it is mine. Hallelujah.

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in braids, because Sir said so
• Maybelline Matte Ink liquid lipstick in “Pioneer”
• Black American Apparel figure skater dress – secondhand on eBay
• Silver L’Amour-Propre heart lock engraved with “Daddy’s,” worn on a repurposed chain (Sir has me wear this sometimes as basically a fancier alternative to my collar)
• Black tights
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• (Not pictured) Black leather jacket (this day brought one of the blusteriest windstorms Toronto has seen in a long time!)

May 6th, 2018. Still feverish and flu-y, I nonetheless trekked out into the world to attend my aunt’s birthday party uptown. It was a small, cozy get-together with crackers and cheese and fondue and Sondheim nerdery and good storytelling.

At one point, an older family member asked me if I was wearing Toronto Maple Leafs socks, and I narrowly avoided explaining that no, actually they were from a BDSM-themed coffee shop in Minneapolis. (This side of the family is relatively kink-friendly – there are even openly queer and kinky people among their ranks – but it was still a family event! I still, for example, opted not to wear my collar, even though it would have matched.)

P.S. This skirt is pretty close to perfect, and I’m sure I’ll be wearing it a lot this spring and summer. The fabric is soft and flowy, the cut is flattering and simple, and it even has POCKETS! Shout-out to the rare piece of women’s clothing that is both cute and functional.

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in little pigtail-buns
• Royal blue T-shirt – American Apparel
• Black high-waisted A-line skirt – ASOS
• Blue and white striped knee-high athletic socks – Leather & Latte in Minneapolis (my favorite memory from this place is that someone walked in and asked the barista at the counter, “Is the Mistress in?” – unfortunately she wasn’t, but wow, what a question)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Coach Mercer satchel in “Cloud”

May 8th, 2018. I often wear this Dildorks shirt on days when I have to edit a podcast episode. It’s super uncool, like wearing a band T-shirt to see that band play – or, indeed, like emblazoning your chest with an illustration of your own face – but whatever, it makes me happy. And I don’t think most people even realize it’s me when they see it.

I wore this out to a favorite local coffee shop to edit the podcast, work on some blog posts, and do some thoughtful navel-gazing in my journal. What else is new, right?

What I’m wearing:
• Dildorks logo baseball-style shirt – Zazzle (art by Amy, who is the best)
• Black and white polka-dotted skater skirt – ASOS
• Striped socks – the Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Revlon Ultra HD matte lip color in “Obsession” (such a pretty, springy pink!)

What recent outfits of yours have made your heart sing?