Every time I review a sex toy, I start by reading its instruction manual cover-to-cover – and one of the funniest parts of the manual is often the verbs that the sex toy company has chosen to express what its toy’s various functions do. I’ve seen everything from “slapping” to “squeezing” to “tickling”… and in this way, the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator stood out from the crowd, because it offers “digging” and “swelling.” What the hell does that mean? Let’s find out together, shall we?!
Like most rabbit vibrators, this one has an internal arm that’s meant to be used vaginally, and an external arm that’s meant to be used clitorally.
In this case, the internal arm has a couple of different functions:
The tip of the shaft strokes up and down in a “come hither” motion meant to stimulate the A-spot. (Yes, they specifically reference the A-spot in their product copy! Yay, more A-spot awareness!) Identified by XReverie as “digging,” I would moreso call this “stroking” or “massaging.”
The middle of the shaft rhythmically undulates, expanding and contracting, or as XReverie calls it, “swelling.” It’s meant to stimulate the G-spot, and in practice, I’d say it feels more like light tapping against that area.
The external/clitoral arm of the toy is more straightforward – it just vibrates – but its shape is non-standard for a rabbit; it reminds me of a seal balancing a ball on its nose.
The Rilva is made of silicone and ABS plastic, and it currently retails for $54.99 USD. It lasts about 50 minutes on a 90-minute charge.
I’m always thrilled to see new toys coming out that target the A-spot specifically, and this one does a decent job of it! The tip of its shaft feels very similar to a partner stroking my spot with one or two fingers – which is my jam, man, as practically anyone I’ve ever fucked could tell you. There are 3 steady stroking speeds followed by some more erratic patterns; I liked that the steady speeds started relatively slow, instead of jackhammery (I often find myself saying “Slower, please!!” when partners are fingerbanging me). It’s a stroking motion, not a thrusting motion, but the sensation reminded me a lot of Fun Factory Stronic toys (RIP), in the way it hit my spot rhythmically again and again.
I dig that the internal and external arm can be controlled separately from one another, each with their own button. You can also pause one of the arms by double-clicking its button, if (for example) the clitoral vibrations start to overwhelm you and you want to focus on internal sensations for a while.
The Rilva comes with a lovely velvety storage bag… which is especially important because its soft matte silicone is very prone to picking up lint/dirt/etc.
It’s IPX6 water-resistant, meaning you can wash it in the sink or take it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it.
Unfortunately the biggest issue with this toy is that its stroking function slows down under pressure. Even just the minor vaginal squeezing I do during mild-to-moderate arousal was enough to hinder its motion significantly – which was a bummer, because the stroking felt amazing until then! IMO, if you’re designing a toy for vaginal use, it should be able to withstand some basic Kegel flexing without buckling under the pressure.
The shaft of the toy also starts to overheat after a few minutes, especially if you’re putting extra pressure on the motor, by, uh, [checks notes] becoming sexually aroused while it’s inside you. It never got hot enough to hurt me or anything, but it was still unsettling.
The clitoral arm is fairly useless for me: its vibrations are irritatingly buzzy (albeit surprisingly strong, especially on the high end) and its shape inevitably focuses those vibrations onto the hypersensitive tip of my clit, rather than the clitoral shaft or hood. Some people would enjoy this laser-focused intensity, but I sure ain’t one of ’em.
I don’t know why soooo many toys I’m reviewing here lately have had 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns, but I’m tired of it!! Give us more steady speeds and fewer patterns!! Both the internal and external arms of the Rilva have this issue.
I can’t even really comment on the part of the shaft that “swells” against the G-spot, because I barely felt it. It’s inventive, though!
The Rilva is kinda loud, although that’s normal with mechanical stroking toys like this one.
Final thoughts
Wish I liked this toy more, but alas, the XReverie Rilka rabbit vibe has some significant mechanical issues, including its tendency to slow down under any pressure, its troubling habit of overheating, and its gratingly buzzy motor.
But I hope more sex toy companies (including XReverie!) keep making A-spot-focused toys, because this spot deserves more love. As in, the kind of love that doesn’t slow to a crawl the minute you get turned on.
This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
Going on first dates in my twenties was always a crapshoot in many ways. Would my date look like their photo, ask me a single question about myself, or put effort into making me come? There was no way to know in advance. Like all of us who engage in the weird and wondrous ritual that is modern dating, I just had to trust the process and hope for the best.
Or so I thought.
See, over the years, as I’ve gotten more involved with kinky and queer communities, I’ve learned a lot more about “vetting” new partners. Sometimes this happens in very overt ways, like when you ask a hot stranger at the dungeon to tell you about their safewords and other consent practices before agreeing to play with them. But vetting can also happen more subtly, as a way of ascertaining information that can establish compatibility and may even keep you safe – like “Has this person even heard of the concept of polyamory?” or “Is this person going to do/say something bigoted if I come out to them as bi?”
Polyamory, queerness, and kink are all topics I try to “vet” new potential partners’ stances on, because anyone who plans to date or fuck me will need to have at least a working knowledge of these things – and likewise, I love sex toys (as the 13+ years of sex toy reviews on this blog can attest!) and only want to have sex with people who are similarly enthusiastic about them, or are, at the very least, chill as hell about them.
If you, too, view toy-positivity as a vital trait in your potential paramours, here are some pro tips that just might help you suss out your crush’s views on sex toys. (Frankly, many of these tips could also be used to vet for kinkiness, among other things!)
Bring up a news story
If you don’t follow the sex toy beat as obsessively as I do (and why would you?), you might not know that sex toys are in the news pretty much every day. Even just scrolling up through my recent text chain with my dad (who follows a lot of news sources and often sends me sex toy-related things when he sees them), I see a story about a domestic boom in China’s sex toy industry, one about a malfunctioning sex toy causing a house fire in Staten Island, an article in which an ER doctor warned against the usage of urethral sounds, and one about a thrift store that accidentally put some metal butt plugs out for sale labeled as doorknobs.
There’s not always an easy or natural way to bring up a news story, but you can pretend to come across it on your phone while you’re with your crush and watch their reaction when you tell them about it – or you can do what I do, as an unabashed news nerd, and simply launch into a speech like, “I was just reading this news story about a case of vibrators that fell off a cargo ship… Isn’t that so tragic? I feel bad for the people who don’t get to have their vibrators now!” Watch for any microexpressions or protestations that give them away as being vibe-phobic!
Bring up a past memory
Tread carefully with this one, because some people are not gonna want to hear a sex story about your ex… but I’ve occasionally gotten good mileage out of casually telling an anecdote that is instructive about what not to do, e.g. “One time I hooked up with this guy who said that me using a vibrator during sex was ‘weird,’ and that made me so mad that I never fucked him again!” (Naturally, as with any anecdote that could be deemed inappropriate or sensitive, you gotta pick your moments to bring up this kind of thing. I’d only tend to tell a story like this if our conversation had already veered in a sexual direction.)
That being said, positive (or even neutral) anecdotes about sex toys can be instructive too. For instance, I remember once telling a crush a story about the time a security guard at a music venue found a dildo in my bag as I was trying to get into a rock concert. The dildo itself, and my reasons for having it, aren’t what the story is about, exactly – it’s about the awkward-but-funny interaction I had with the security guard over it – but if a person was uncomfortable with dildos, that would likely be evident in their reaction (or pointedly blank non-reaction, as the case may be!).
Bring up (or queue up) a media reference
Look, who even cares that the rabbit vibrator episode of Sex & the City aired a whopping 27 years ago?! You can still be like, “Ooh, wanna watch an episode of one of my favorite shows with me?” and then just ‘happen’ to choose the episode where Charlotte uses a rabbit vibe. Or the one where Samantha uses a wand vibe. Or the… other one where Samantha uses a different wand vibe. (I know too much about the history of wand vibes, evidently…)
There are, of course, plenty of other media depictions of sex toys, from the strap-on in Broad City to the sex doll in Lars & the Real Girl to the butt plug-shaped trophy in Everything Everywhere All At Once. While a person may not come right out and say “I disapprove of what is being portrayed!” their reaction may still give you some useful data to add to the pile.
Walk past (or into) a sex shop
Say you’re out on a date, and en route from dinner to a nightcap, you happen to stroll past a sex shop. You could comment with curious wonder (or experienced approval) on whatever you see in the window, could take the opportunity to tell a toy-related anecdote (see above), or could even flash your crush an impish smile and say, “Wanna go in?”
I often find it amazingly informative – not to mention hot – to wander through a sex shop with someone I’m newly interested in. There are so many conversation-sparking comments and questions you can spout about anything and everything that you see around you: “Ooh, I love this one!” “Have you ever tried this kind of thing?” “OMG, I’ve always wondered what these feel like.” “Does this intrigue you at all?” “Wow, that’s beautiful.” “What’s the most you would ever spend on a sex toy?” “I remember the first time I went into a sex shop…” “I wonder if this place is hiring!” However they respond to any of this, it will be very telling.
It’s also telling to observe which items in the store catch their eye – what do they go up to and stare at, what do they ask questions about, what toy packaging or lube labels do they scrutinize? Use your best judgment to decide when it’s appropriate to comment on this kind of stuff; I probably wouldn’t go up to a crush who was eying the enemas and say, “Thinking about cleaning your butt out, huh?” for instance, because being in a sex shop at all is vulnerable enough for most people as-is, without some well-meaning sex-positive scamp narrating your idle musings aloud!
Just fuckin’ ask
You really gotta read the room on this one, and hopefully you’ve established enough rapport that this doesn’t come across as unhingedly out-of-touch, but sometimes you can really just say something like, “What are your views on sex toys? I love them and have a bunch of them.”
With personal questions like this, I often recommend that you answer the question yourself upfront, as in that example. It’s a good-faith demonstration that you’re asking them to step out on a limb that you yourself will also willingly step onto. It’s also an opportunity to set the tone for what kind of answer you’re expecting, so that hopefully, even if they have an objection of some kind, they will voice it calmly and non-judgmentally.
As with all of these suggestions, it’s important to remember: If it does turn out that your crush has beef with sex toys, it’s good to know that ASAP, so you can make decisions accordingly, ideally before putting a label on things, developing a strong emotional attachment, or falling in love. You deserve pleasure, and you deserve to be partnered with people who care about your pleasure, instead of being suspicious or resentful of it – and so it is absolutely valid to want to filter out the vibrator-haters however and whenever you can.
How do you like to vet new partners for their chillness with regards to sex toys?
This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
As I strolled back home from a great comedy show last night, I had a spring in my step. I’d just shared some laughs with pals, the weather was beautiful, and I had a date with a sex doll.
This date was a long time coming. I’ve collaborated with sex doll company Tantaly on a number of reviews before, but I’ve always outsourced the testing, because the brand always wanted to highlight their most popular products: dolls with tits and a pussy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate tits and a pussy as much as the next bisexual – but I don’t have the anatomy required to actually fuck that type of doll, which is, of course, the expected usage of a fuck-doll.
In the course of doing those Tantaly reviews, I’ve managed to hook up three penis-possessing people in my life with a free sex doll, in exchange for letting me pick their brain about the experience for my review (or in one case, the person actually wrote the review himself – you should read it, it’s hilarious!). But sex dolls are the type of product that you typically wouldn’t want or need multiples of, especially if you live in a small apartment – so none of my testers were willing to test another doll, and there wasn’t really anyone else who I’d trust enough to give this responsibility to. (It might sound odd to describe sticking your dick in something as a “responsibility,” but my reputation and income would legitimately be on the line if a tester ghosted me after receiving their doll, so I have to be choosy about them!)
All this to say: When Tantaly reached out again recently to ask about another collab, I told them that at this point, I’d only be able to review a doll if I could test it myself… which meant it would have to be a doll with a dick. And guess what? They sent me one. His name is Mark. He’s actually lying in my bed right now as I write this. He’d probably be smoking a post-coital cigarette, if not for the fact that he has no head. Let me tell you about our date night!
Specs ‘n’ stuff
I want to get the technical shit out of the way up top, because frankly it feels weird to write about this doll like it’s just another sex toy, even though it literally is. But damn, it’s eerily humanoid. I mean, I know that’s the point, but I was really thrown by how much my brain wanted to categorize the doll as a person immediately. I full-body cringed from uncanny-valley weirdness when I unboxed Mark and looked at him lying there, so lifeless and subdued – except for his perpetually raging hard-on, which arched up out of his styrofoam coffin like a phoenix rising from the ashes – and yet so lifelike. I kept saying “Excuse me, sir” as I (wo)manhandled him into different positions, the same way I sometimes catch myself saying “Please” and “Thank you” to Siri. (You can take the girl out of Canada, but…)
The Mark doll is lifelike but not exactly life-sized; even accounting for its lack of a head/arms/legs, it’s still proportionately maybe two-thirds the size of your average dude. It’s 23.5″ tall, from its cut-off neck to the bottom of its cut-off thighs. But I would say that the doll’s most impactful measurement is actually its weight, because hoo boy is this thing ever heavy (33.7 lbs). To be fair, I have a chronic illness that impacts muscle strength, and I’m also just an out-of-shape weakling, but weight is a frequent complaint about sex dolls in general, even for people with actual muscle. These dolls do require a certain amount of heft so they can stay anchored in place when you’re fucking them/riding them – and they do that very well! – but I found it challenging to move the doll around at all. In fact, after coming, I was so tired that I barely managed to shove the doll over in bed so I could fall asleep beside him (and yes, it was a bit of a jump-scare waking up next to a headless man the next morning).
The Mark comes with a storage case, which has straps to make it easier to carry around – nice touch! There’s even a zippered pocket on the outside which is very roomy – you could easily fit a Magic Wand Rechargeable, big dildo, and full-size bottle of lube in there, no problem, with room left over for condoms or cock rings or whatever else you’re bringing to the hypothetical sex doll orgy you’re apparently jetsetting to in this scenario.
Except for its metal frame structure, the entire doll is made of TPE (thermoplastic elastomer), which has some big pros and some big cons that I’ll get into below. This doll costs $400 USD or $500 CAD. In addition to its lovely dick, it also has a fuckable ass with a textured interior; the doll comes with a moisture-absorbing stick to help speed up the drying process after you wash his butt out (what a phrase!), but as mentioned, I don’t have a dick with which to penetrate this thing, so I didn’t test out its butt beyond giving it a little slap or two, ’cause, y’know, when in Rome…
Too real, man
I’d never personally unboxed a torso before. I’d seen other people unbox them, in videos and on FaceTime calls, but it’s an odd experience to actually do it yourself. I was laughing, cringing and squealing as I lifted Mark out of the little styrofoam bed he came in – because he looked and felt somehow both very real and not real at all.
Certainly his physique doesn’t resemble many that I’ve seen in the wild, but the texture and appearance of his skin is quite lifelike, if a bit unnaturally cold to the touch. (Just imagine you’re fucking one of the Twilight vampires, it’s fine.) One nice thing about TPE is that it can indeed feel impressively skin-like on the surface – but this TPE formulation feels oddly soft for this particular application. Truly not trying to body-shame here, only to doll-shame, but in my limited experience touching super-muscly bodies like Mark‘s, they are quite a bit firmer than this. It’s especially strange in the chest region; I’m used to being able to leverage some of my weight against someone’s chest as I ride them, but my fist sinks into Mark like memory foam, which was a tad bit unsettling mid-bang.
But overall, it was an interesting experience for me psychologically to get my hands all over this doll, objectifying him, flipping him over, touching his junk, etc. It made me really aware of how inhibited I feel when touching human partners – there’s the constant anxiety, however low-level, that I might do a bad job, hurt them somehow, or look like I don’t know what I’m doing. I didn’t have to worry about any of that with the doll, so I was able to follow my in-the-moment desires without hesitation, tweaking a nipple here, smacking some balls there, running a palm along Mark‘s rubbery six-pack, and just basically being an unabashed perv. This ultra-toned body type isn’t what I’m usually drawn to – if Tantaly ever makes a sex doll with a lanky nerd bod or a cuddly dad bod, I’m so there – but I enjoyed the way it encouraged me to foreground my desires and my “female gaze,” like a Magic Mike movie.
Does yr girl know how to shoot a cock portrait or what?
Cock ‘n’ balls
Shout-out to those of you who scrolled down to this section immediately; I see you 😉
As you might imagine, this doll’s dick is spectacular, at least visually. (My wife didn’t think so, though; she took one look at it and immediately said, “What a weird dick! And the rest of him just looks like a woman!” – which I hadn’t really considered, but I guess Mark‘s pecs, nipples, and hourglassy shape have a certain Greek-statue-esque androgyny to them that probably makes this an especially suitable doll for me, a noted bisexual…)
But let’s get down to brass tacks: cock measurements. The insertable length is slightly over 6″, while its widest circumference is 5.75″, which works out to a diameter of about 1.8″. (And yes, I reflexively apologized to him out loud as I held a tape measure to his dick.)
Tantaly has done something similar here to what companies like Vixen Creations and Tantus do with dual-density silicone: this cock has a firm core, with a squishier outer layer on top, to create a realistically boner-like feeling. But in Mark‘s case, the firm core is part of the doll’s metal frame structure, and the outer layer is the same soft TPE that the rest of the doll is made out of.
And therein lies the rub (and tug): TPE is not the right material for this dick (or for any dick, frankly). It should be made out of silicone instead (like that of the Tantaly Mark Pro doll, of which more below). TPE is porous, meaning it clings onto some amount of bacteria no matter how well you wash it. So, while I really enjoyed sucking Mark’s cock for a while (after taking a damp washcloth to it, to wipe away any bitter chemicals remaining from the production process), I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so anymore after he’d been used a few times, because the thought of the bacteria would gross me out. I likewise wouldn’t be able to sanitize his dick if, for instance, I wanted to use it anally and then vaginally, or wanted to share it with a partner I’m not fluid-bonded with, or wanted to avoid re-infecting myself after a bout of BV. I could put a new condom on it every time, sure, but it’d be annoying to have to do that, especially with such an expensive toy.
There’s another reason I wish Mark’s dick wasn’t made of TPE: it’s too soft! Now, look, this is a body-positive blog, and I certainly don’t mean to boner-shame… but in real life, if someone is having erectile difficulties, we can just switch to activities that don’t require a hard-on. This doll has no such capacity – he has no tongue, no fingers, no purple vibrating strap-on – and so, let’s face it, his dick is what he brings to the table. As such, it surprised me that his cock is so soft and squishy that it’s actually difficult to get it inside me, in a way that reminds me of that old Rodney Dangerfield joke about “shooting pool with a rope.”
I also just… couldn’t feel his dick very strongly as I was riding it, despite its moderate size, A-spotty curve, and firm core. I wanted to feel well-and-truly fucked, but it felt more like my insides were being gently massaged – nice, sure, but not orgasmic. I ended up nudging the doll aside in bed so I could lie down and get myself off “the old-fashioned way,” i.e. with a dildo and vibe. (I have, of course, linked to the actual toys I actually used, because I know I would be curious about that if I was reading this!)
All hope is not lost, however: Tantaly also makes a doll called the Mark Pro, which comes with three differently-sized removable silicone penises (!!!), making it not only more hygienic but also more versatile. The jump in price between the Mark and Mark Pro is $90 USD, which buys you three nice silicone dildos and some peace of mind, at the very least, so I’d say it’s worth it!
Regarding my own doll’s all-TPE genitals, though, one upside is that his balls look and feel very realistic, in a way that I found hot and weirdly transfixing… probably because I have often been wary of hurting partners’ balls if I touch them too zealously, so it was a fun novelty to be able to slap some balls around without fear of causing pain or permanent damage.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
Was it good for you?
“Cowgirl” position (i.e. me on top) was the only one that seemed practical for my purposes. Mark is too heavy for me to comfortably place him on top of me in a missionary-style position, I’m not flexible enough for many other positions, and the very idea of backing up onto a doll’s dick in doggie-style is giving me pre-emptive thigh cramps just thinking about it.
Cowgirl isn’t a position I tend to favor in my sex life, because I lack the strength in my knees and hips to really accomplish the up-and-down motion that people with penises tend to prefer. But I’m much more able to sustain a smaller range of motion that, were I to do it with a human, would probably be more for my own pleasure than theirs, rubbing the head of their dick back and forth over my A-spot in short strokes and maybe grinding my clit against their pubic bone at the same time. Naturally, though, with a sex doll I was able to fully prioritize my own pleasure without having to consider what might feel best for someone else, and it was fun to experiment with different ways to ride a cock. (If PETA wants to update the “ways to skin a cat” idiom, I nominate that as a contender.)
Although it was fun to center my own pleasure in the way I rode the insensate Mark, my arousal only really kicked into gear once I started imagining he could feel pleasure, could experience desire and arousal and frenzied lust. I fantasized that the doll awoke into sentience (let’s disregard its horrifying headlessness for the purposes of this scenario) and discovered, to its surprise, that a cute gal (hi) was riding its dick, and that this was intensely pleasurable. I’ve employed similar fantasies in toy-testing sessions before, usually imagining that a dildo I’m testing has become sentient and sensate – but Mark’s humanoid torso added significantly to this fantasy for me. It was like an adult version of Pinocchio’s “I’m a real boy” moment… Peen-occhio? Is that anything?
Ultimately though, I was not able to reach orgasm with Mark, even when I used an ol’ faithful clit vibe while riding him. His dick just didn’t feel hard enough to contribute meaningfully to my pleasure – which annoyed me, because you literally had one job, dude. If Mark was a Ken doll, his job would be dick. But I’m not sure he’s a great fit for the position.
Nonetheless: Man oh man, I had so much fun testing out the Tantaly Mark. It’s definitely the most humanoid product I’ve ever reviewed in my 13+ years in this industry, and it was fascinating to observe how that affected my arousal, my fantasies, and even the way I addressed the doll in my own mind (he/it pronouns, baybee!).
I think a lot of people would really enjoy this doll, especially if they plan on making use of his ass in ways that I could not, so as to get their full money’s worth. As for me, call me shallow, but the dick was all I cared about – and it just wasn’t firm enough to give me the ramming I wanted, plus it’s made of a porous material. [sad trombone]
The Mark Pro is a really cool product, though, because it’s Mark with a dick you can detach and sanitize as needed. I haven’t felt its dick(s) myself, so I don’t know how the firmness compares to the TPE version – but if it was firmer, I think I’d have a much easier time coming all over it. And just think: If I found myself saying “Sorry” and “Excuse me” while just moving him around, I wonder what I’d say to him in the throes of an orgasm…
This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
When mega-popular sex toy company Lovense asked me to review their Ferri panty vibe recently, I thought, Wait… Haven’t I already reviewed that?! – but apparently I have not! I have written about it countless times for various publications, though, because I’ve adored it for years – so I was glad to have the opportunity to tell you about it in more detail here!
Spoiler alert: this is one of those very rare reviews where I have almost nothing negative to say at all about the product. As they say in showbiz: “No notes!”
Gratuitous underwear pics for some reason; you’re welcome
Ever wanted to use a vibrator secretly in public, while someone else controls it from their phone? I certainly have! Many sex toy companies have attempted to make a hands-free vibrator for this type of use-case. This is perhaps one of the most difficult types of vibrators to design and engineer (at least, that would be my educated guess as a critic-but-not-maker of sex toys), because they have to be comfortable, stable once situated, quiet, and easy to control surreptitiously (usually via a smartphone app or an included remote) – not to mention, powerful and pleasurable!
Some of these toys require some degree of penetration, like We-Vibe-style toys or Lovense’s own Lush. Personally, I tend to prefer an option that’s all external and doesn’t require any penetration – not only because clitoral stimulation is what gives me most of my pleasure anyway, but also because my vag will eventually start to get sore if I keep something inside there while I’m sitting, walking around, etc. for hours on end, even if I slip away to a bathroom to re-lube periodically.
The Ferri solves this problem neatly. It’s a small vibrator that you tuck into your panties (or any other close-fitting style of underwear); it’s contoured to cup the vulva beautifully, curving along the mons and onto the clit. (Folks with penises seeking a vibe for hands-free use might consider the Gush.) Most cleverly, a separate magnet comes with the Ferri, which you can affix to the outside of your underwear, holding the vibe in place. You can then control the vibe via Bluetooth using the Lovense app (available for iOS, Android, Mac, and PC). While the Ferri obviously doesn’t have to be used in public, that is where it shines, and where the cleverness of its many features becomes most evident. Let’s talk about ’em…
The Lovense app is just so fucking cool, and so well-designed. I praise it every time I review a Lovense toy, because it really is that good – and it’s the reason I always recommend Lovense products when people ask me about long-distance sex toys. In the app, you can use sliders to precisely control your vibe yourself, or invite someone else to control it from near or far; you can craft your own vibration patterns, loop them, or try out patterns that other people have designed; you can make your vibe vary based on the music/sound levels in the room you’re in, or respond in real-time to interactive videos or video games; you can even set an alarm and get woken up by vibration. Other companies have attempted to do what Lovense is doing, but none so effectively (at least none that I’ve tried), not only because their app is so robustly designed but also because their toys’ connectivity is way more consistent than that of other brands.
The vibrations are sufficiently rumbly, with a wide range of intensities that get plenty strong enough for me on the high end. In my view, a vibrator has to be rumbly to be successful in a public teasing scene, because you’re typically going to keep the vibrator in exactly the same spot for several minutes at a time, and buzzier vibrations would just numb you out – whereas rumbly ones continue to feel pleasurable for way longer. I think I could actually get off with this vibe in public, if not for my pesky social anxiety – but I can definitely get off with it in private, especially with the addition of some kind of rhythm or pressure from squeezing my thighs together (or having someone grind their thigh against my vulva…).
The Ferri is shaped excellently to target my clit, and I imagine many other people’s clits as well. Its gentle curve presses into my clit easily, and its ribbed texture gives me something to grind against if I rock back and forth slightly in my seat (water-based or oil-based lube makes this more pleasurable).
The magnet is really, really strong, so the vibe stays affixed to my underwear even as I walk around. On the rare occasions when it loses contact with my clit, it’s always because my underwear itself has shifted, not because the vibe has – and it’s easy to surreptitiously nudge it back into place under the table if I’m sitting at a restaurant or bar.
While I wouldn’t call it silent by any means, the Ferri is a pretty quiet vibrator, and it likely wouldn’t be audible at all in a noisy public environment like a bar or club. Just be careful when you sit down on a hard surface, like a metal chair or wooden barstool; the vibe might clatter against it, depending on how you’re sitting.
The Ferri lasts an impressive 3 hours and 15 minutes on an hour-long charge. On standby mode (i.e. connected to your phone via Bluetooth, but not vibrating yet), the Ferri can last up to 100 hours. I particularly appreciate long battery lives and short charging times when it comes to public-play toys, because you might impulsively decide to grab one as you dash out the door for a dinner date, and it sucks to discover that it’s dead. Even if it is dead, you can plug it in for a few minutes while you brush your teeth, get dressed, etc. and it’ll have enough juice for an evening tryst by the time you’re ready to go.
It’s waterproof, which makes it super easy to clean… and also means that you can keep on vibin’ even if you get caught in a torrential downpour on your way home from dinner. Alleyway makeout in the rain while a vibe pulses in your panties, anyone?
The only complaint I have about this toy is that the Lovense app randomly logs me out of my account more often than I’d prefer (maybe like once every 2-3 months), which sometimes leads to an annoying horny scramble to find my login information when I really just want to get off (or let someone else get me off). Not sure what causes this, but even my app-developer wife gets annoyed by it, so it’s gotta be fixable, right?!
Final thoughts
A while ago, a friend texted me asking for sex toy advice. He wanted to buy his partner a panty vibe, had a few options in mind, and wanted my opinion on which was best. Without hesitation, I said, “Just get the Lovense Ferri.”
I really do think it’s the best panty vibe on the market right now, and I say that as someone who used to be a hater about the entire panty-vibe genre. This vibe actually gets it right, and has shown me that surreptitious public scenes can be fun, hot, and easy – rather than being a technological nightmare where you lose your boner from frustration after the third time you have to reconnect the Bluetooth!
It’s not often that I feel like doing a scene in public, but when I do, I tend to reach for either one of my Njoy Pure Plugs, an Uberrime vaginal plug, or the Lovense Ferri. They never let me down!
This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
Two things which we millennials apparently love, at least if the press releases in my inbox are to be believed: avocados, and pressure-wave sex toys.
I’m certainly not beating those allegations; I use pressure-wave toys semi-regularly, and I’m one of the many millennials who eats avocado toast but doesn’t own a house. (Hmm, doesn’t it seem like, if wages had kept up with inflation, more of us could comfortably afford both, and no one would have to write shamey thinkpieces about it? 🤔 Ah well…)
Anyway, economy gripes aside, today I’m reviewing a toy that combines both these millennial staples into one green little gadget: the Hello Nancy Avo clitoral massager. Like their lemon-shaped Lem, which I reviewed yesterday, this toy is cute, unusual-looking, and surprisingly powerful for its petite size. It’s so similar to the Lem, in fact, that I’m going to compare the two throughout this piece.
Ways in which the Avo and Lem are more-or-less the same:
Both are pressure-wave clitoral massagers, meaning they stimulate the tip of the clitoris with rhythmic air waves.
Both are made of matte, smooth silicone.
Both have 10 modes/settings, although the modes themselves are different (more on that below).
Both have a soft-edged silicone “mouth” that is just under half an inch in diameter, so they’re best-suited for people with small-to-medium clits (and I wouldn’t recommend them for people who’ve experienced bottom growth due to testosterone).
Both are IPX7 waterproof, so you can wash ’em in the sink and use ’em in the shower or bath if you want to.
Both come in totally adorable packaging, with a silky pink storage bag for the toy.
I like the avocado-y shape, and found it easier to hold onto than the lemon shape, even with my chronically sore hands. I also found that the avocado shape stayed in place better when I’d briefly use it hands-free (like while finding more porn clips to watch on my phone), which is a definite plus for me.
Additionally, I think this shape would be better suited for using during PIV sex than the rounder Lem. The Avo could even fit into missionary-position sex without much trouble. It’s about the same size as something like a Satisfyer Penguin, but shaped even better to fit between bodies.
The Avo feels noticeably more powerful than the Lem, so it may be better appreciated by people who enjoy intense stimulation. That being said, its pressure waves feel buzzier than those of the Lem – more on that below – so it’s ultimately less pleasurable for me, despite being stronger.
The lowest speed of the Avo is actually low, unlike the Lem which starts off a bit aggressive for my liking. I appreciate being able to start at a lower intensity and work my way up as I get more aroused (although this would be easier to do if there were more steady speeds; see below).
I tend to stick with steady speeds rather than patterns, but the patterns on the Avo are significantly better than the patterns on the Lem. There’s less space in between pulses, and the rhythms are more consistent. People who enjoy patterns might actually like these!
Most crucially: the Lem’s pressure-waves feel a lot rumblier and more clitorally impactful than the Avo’s. My clit just kind of zones out/numbs out after a few minutes with the Avo, whereas the Lem feels engagingly rumbly through all of its settings. For this reason, I was able to reach orgasm with the Lem but not with the Avo.
The Lem has 4 steady speeds and 6 patterns, whereas the Avo has only 3 steady speeds, followed by 7 patterns. I’m not sure of the reason for this difference, but in any case, 3-4 steady speeds is not enough gradation for me; my preference is 8-10.
The Lem ($89 USD/$120 CAD) is cheaper than the Avo ($99 USD/$140 CAD), although I’m not sure why – and frankly, I think both are a bit overpriced. Pressure-wave toys at this price point usually have flashier features to justify their high cost, like Womanizer’s “Autopilot mode” or the multiple different-sized clitoral attachments that come with some Womanizer toys.
Despite being repeatedly described by the brand as “whisper-quiet,” the Avo is one of the louder pressure-wave toys I’ve tried. The Lem is a much more reasonable volume by comparison.
The Lem lasts 2 hours on a 90-minute charge, whereas the Avo only lasts 90 minutes on a 90-minute charge.
Final thoughts
In general, I think the sunny yellow Lem is the better toy of the two. It feels better, can get me off, and its aesthetic appeals to me more. The higher-pitched “buzziness” of the Avo‘s pressure-waves will work for some people, but I think most folks would dig the Lem more.
In general I struggle to say that Hello Nancy’s toys are worth the splurge, since they don’t quite deliver sensation-wise in the way I’d expect for a pressure-wave toy at this price point – but as I noted in yesterday’s review, sometimes a toy’s aesthetic makes it worth the extra cash. Sex toys are meant to bring you pleasure, and many people find it easier to seek and justify self-pleasure if they’re using a toy with an aesthetic that makes their heart sing. Maybe some of my fellow avocado-obsessed millennials are swooning over the Avo as they read this!
As for me, though… I think I’ll keep my avocados on my toast, and not on my vulva. 🥑😉
This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
