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4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Jealous of Your Partner’s Sex Toy(s)

Kate Sloan

Having written about sex toys for as long as I have, one of the most common complaints I hear from readers about toys is that they’re nervous their partner will react poorly to them. Either they already know their partner has a bad attitude about toys because of previous conversations they’ve had, or they just have a sinking feeling about it, and are therefore hesitant to incorporate their favorite pleasurable gizmo(s) into sex.

I also sometimes receive questions from the jealous partner themselves, wondering why they’re experiencing such irrational jealousy and resentment about their sweetheart’s Fleshlight or realistic dildo. After all, a lot of times, when we feel intense distress about someone else’s otherwise harmless choice, it has to do with underlying emotional issues that we may or may not be aware of – and when we’re not aware of them, it can seem like there’s nothing we can do about them.

With that in mind, here are 4 reasons you shouldn’t be jealous of your partner’s sex toy…

 

You bring so much more to the table than a dildo or stroker!

It might sound obvious, but it’s true: you are a human being, and so you are automatically capable of doing many, many, MANY things that sex toys alone cannot do! And I say this as someone who is, obviously, a huge fan of sex toys. They can’t whisper cute/hot things in my ear. They can’t remember what I like and do more of it (seriously, even the A.I.-influenced toys that claim to be able to do this are nowhere near human-level good at it). They can’t tap into the fantasies and archetypes that turn me on and play those out with me. They can’t replace the feeling of a warm, soft, touchable person in bed next to me. They can’t make me laugh, or hold me when I cry.

If you truly believe that a sex toy has the ability to replace you or upstage you, I would (lovingly) invite you to consider that you might have some self-esteem issues that are worth working on, so you can be happier in and out of the bedroom. (More on that in the last point on this list.)

 

You can use sex toys with/on your partner!

Toys are just tools. As the classic analogy goes: if you use a hammer to build a house, it wasn’t the hammer that built the house, it was you! And by the same token, if you give your partner pleasure and/or orgasms with toys, it was still you who did that. You just used a tool to do it – and using tools and technology is quite literally part of what makes us human, part of what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. You wouldn’t consider yourself a failure for needing to wear bifocals, or for cooking on a gas range instead of over an open fire, and for the same exact reason, you shouldn’t consider yourself inadequate for incorporating sex toys into sex.

Besides which, using sex toys together can be a really fun adventure, and a way to infuse some novelty and variety into your sex life.

 

Pleasure is a good thing!

You want your partner to experience pleasure, right? Because you like them (maybe even love them) and want them to be happy? And it’s very likely they want the same for you.

More pleasure is a good thing, period. Sex is (for most of us) primarily about pleasure and intimacy. Sex toys can help you in your pursuit of those goals.

If you find that maintaining a sense of yourself as sexually indispensable is more important to you than your partner’s pleasure, well… I think that’s worth examining.

 

Slapping a Band-Aid on your insecurities isn’t the same thing as addressing/healing them

I’ve learned this in so many different areas of life. Our fickle human brains like to come up with “logical” solutions to emotional problems. This is why, for example, some monogamous straight people will insist that their partner “can’t” have any friends of the “opposite sex,” because to do so is perceived as a threat to the relationship even when it’s obviously not. These people are trying to “legislate away their feelings” through rules and “boundaries,” in the same way that a person might “forbid” their partner to use sex toys in order to avoid facing the insecurities and anxieties that sex toy usage might bring up for them.

What I have learned is that you cannot outrun or “logic away” these issues. They will keep coming up, in various different forms, until and unless you face them and heal them. And when the issues in question are related to your partner’s rights and freedoms, oftentimes they will manifest in very problematic and perhaps even abusive ways.

The fact is, you don’t get to impose coercive rules on your partner just because you are insecure and anxious. Your partner may want to help you with your insecurities and anxieties, which would be very nice of them, but they are not obligated to, especially if the “help” you are requesting amounts to them making their life smaller, less joyful, and worse just to appease you.

But here’s the really important point – and I say this with love: you will be happier if you address your issues head-on, rather than trying to re-route your discomfort onto someone else. Whether through therapy, journaling, cognitive-behavioral exercises, Internal Family Systems exercises (which have helped me enormously with my insecurities and abandonment anxieties), or any other method of investigative self-reflection, it’s important to figure out what you’re so afraid of, why you’re afraid of it, and whether your fears have any basis in your current reality. More often than not, these types are fears are founded on false beliefs you’ve picked up from past experiences and/or cultural influences, and you don’t need that shit floating around in your brain – it’ll only cause you pain, and cause your partner(s) pain by proxy.

You deserve to live a life of happiness and pleasure, and so does your partner. And that’ll be much easier to achieve once you truly believe, in your very bones, that you are worthy, you are enough, and you have more to offer than a phallic piece of silicone.

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 Fun Things to Do When Your Partner is in Chastity

Kate Sloan
Wearing my sweetheart’s chastity key around my neck 🔑

Chastity has joined my constellation of kinks relatively recently; I’ve been my partner’s “keyholder” since 2020. They’re not locked up all the time, or anywhere close to it – usually I’ll lock them up for anywhere from a few days to a week or more, but never for longer than a month. However, even short stints of keeping their dick under lock and key can be emotionally and sexually intense for both of us. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more powerful than I do while literally wearing the key to someone’s genitals around my neck, giving them commands which they eagerly follow.

You might think that your sexual options would be limited if one partner’s junk is inaccessible – and yeah, it definitely puts some fun parameters around the types of play you’re able to engage in. But there’s a lot you can do even while your partner’s dick is caged. Here are a few of my favorite examples.

 

1. Strap-on sex

I’m a fan of strap-on sex in general, regardless of the gender or anatomy of the person I’m with; it’s an enjoyable way to experiment with sensations that are different from those you’d be able to access just by getting fucked with fingers or a flesh-and-blood dick. It can also feel more intimate and visceral than having someone simply hold a dildo and fuck you with it by hand.

It can be amusing to “make” my partner fuck me with a strap-on while they’re locked up. I can taunt them about not being able to do it with their actual cock, and can make humiliating comments about how they wouldn’t be able to last long enough to please me anyway, etc. Plus, on a purely logistical level, I like getting off from penetrative sex but often partners indeed can’t last long enough for me to get there, so it’s nice that with a strap-on, I never have to worry about them coming too soon and thereby losing their boner. (They might still come, though… especially if they’ve been denied orgasms for a while, and are particularly enjoying the sights and sounds involved in fucking me with a strap-on. Erotic hypnosis can also be used to make it so that my partner actually feels like the dildo is their dick, which can make it easier for them to orgasm from fucking me with it. Neat!)

Naturally, it’s also possible for me to wear a strap-on and fuck my partner with it while they’re locked up. I could see this being a particularly compelling activity for people who want to learn to come from prostate stimulation alone, since you literally can’t get any dick stimulation this way if you’re wearing a chastity cage, and have to rely on the prostate stim if you want to get off at all (assuming you’re allowed to!).

 

2. Butt plugs

Speaking of prostate stimulation… Wearing a butt plug can be a nice way of getting some kind of pleasure even if your usual avenues are thwarted.

I sometimes like to have my partner wear a butt plug while they go down on me or otherwise please me, because it seems to keep them more focused on the task at hand, and increases their arousal and pleasure throughout the process.

Vibrating butt plugs can be especially fun. One of my favorites can be controlled long-distance, so I can give my partner prostate orgasms even while they’re 500 miles away from me, which is pretty cool.

 

3. Love letters

One of my favorite things about chastity play is the emotional effect it has on my partner. This could be the topic of a whole other blog post, but suffice it to say, their romantic feelings toward me get dialed way up after a few days of being denied orgasms. It’s almost like they’re back in “New Relationship Energy,” the name given by polyamorists to the euphoric and obsessive mental state that is also sometimes termed the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship.

My partner is always good at writing me love letters, but particularly so when they’re in chastity, because of these elevated emotions. They can pontificate for paragraphs about how much they love various personality traits, talents, and body parts of mine. Since I’m not always the most self-assured person, I often like to take the opportunity during chastity stints to have them write me adoring words that I can look back on for months or years to come, whenever I need a confidence boost. Doing this might earn them a reward, or sometimes it’s just a task I assign them for fun.

 

4. Vibrators

Did you know you can use a vibrator on a chastity cage and the person wearing it can feel the vibrations? This isn’t true under every circumstance – my understanding is that it only really works if the person is hard inside their cage, but, y’know, it’s not too terribly tricky to get my partner hard when they’ve been denied any sexual stimulation for days at a time.

I like using vibes on my partner’s cage when I want to reward them with pleasure but still want them to feel teased and tormented to some extent. They’re obviously not feeling the full force of the vibrations when they’re conducted through the metal cage, so the stimulation feels comparatively muffled in a way that can be thrillingly frustrating. And orgasms, when they happen this way, can be painful and/or ruined, due to the tightness of the cage and the diffuse nature of the stimulation, which makes them a delightful treat for sadomasochists.

For this purpose, I would recommend a vibrator that’s strong and rumbly enough to be felt through the cage. Powerful wand vibrators are my faves to use for this purpose, especially those with a softer head that won’t clang against the cage too harshly. You can experiment with placement, but I find that pressing the vibe against the frenulum area usually works best.

 

5. Cuckolding

Now, granted, this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and won’t be within everyone’s relationship boundaries (but then, that’s true of all of these suggestions!). My partner and I are non-monogamous, though, and they enjoy the humiliation of being cucked, so it’s been fun for us to lean into that side of things occasionally.

For example, my partner has sometimes paid for my meal or transportation on nights when I’ve had dates (or, in one memorable case, a blowjob porn shoot) with other people, and then I might come home afterward and tell them about my evening over the phone while they groan in frustration. This amuses me, boosts my confidence, and helps ease the irrational guilt I sometimes feel about dating/kissing/fucking other people even though I’m explicitly allowed to do so. Plus it’s kind of a sweet (if perverted) way to reconnect after an evening apart.

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: YoYoLemon Vibrating Pussy Pump with Tongue Licking Motions

Kate Sloan

I really love oral sex. It’s such a basic-bitch opinion to hold that sometimes I feel vaguely guilty or embarrassed about it. Like, girl, you wrote a whole book on kink and BDSM. Surely your favorite sexual activities are more interesting than “insert genitals into mouth”?! And yet, at the same time, oral sex isn’t boring at all – there can be power dynamics involved, and intricate technique considerations, and a meditative headspace for either giver or receiver. Plus, you know, it feels really fucking good. (Why am I pitching you on the merits of oral sex?! Probably preaching to the choir, huh.)

Anyway, today I’m reviewing yet another oral sex simulator, the YoYoLemon Vibrating Pussy Pump with Tongue Licking Motions. It combines suction with up-and-down flicks of a silicone tongue, to provide an experience that theoretically mimics the oral sex technique likeliest to get me off: sucking and licking the clit simultaneously. Is it any good? Let’s talk about it.

 

Things I like about this toy

  • The suction is much stronger than I was expecting, and certainly stronger than you’ll find in a lot of toys in this category. It’s much more akin to an actual fucking clit pump than a paltry oral sex simulator, in that I can feel – and see – it drawing more blood into my vulva with each suck, and it stirs up arousal very quickly as a result. Sometimes the suction can get a bit too intense for my tastes (more on that below) but the first suction setting out of three turned out to be the sweet spot for me, and I never used either of the other ones except to briefly test them out for this review.
  • The wide mouth of this toy (2.2″ across) sets it apart from a lot of other clitoral suction toys because (depending on the size and shape of your clit and labia) it will likely suck on not just your clit but some of the flesh surrounding it, which creates a very different sensation. I really liked how it essentially caused my outer labia to be stroked up and down on either side of my clitoral shaft with every rhythmic suck, which gave me a deeper, more full-bodied clitoral sensation than toys that focus more on the clit alone or even just the very tip of the clit. I also think the size of this toy’s mouth might make it suitable for transmasculine people with bottom growth, and since it’s a gorgeous shade of kelly green (rather than pink or purple), it might suit them from a visual gender affirmation standpoint as well.
  • The suction motion is so wide and strong that it ends up physically moving my clit around inside the “mouth,” so that the tongue inside lands on different spots on my clit at different points in the suction cycle. This creates a sensation that’s much more varied and dynamic than a toy is usually able to provide, which makes the stimulation feel a tad more human/realistic.
  • You can control the suction and licking separately from one another; they each have their own button to flip through their modes (3 suction intensities and 9 different licking modes, the first 3 of which are steady speeds), and you can also use only one of them at a time if you feel like it.
  • If you turn off the suction function at just the right moment, you can get it to maintain the exact amount of suction you want, while you continue using the tongue’s various settings. Personally I prefer rhythmic sucking but I think this is a cool feature for people who want more sustained suction.
  • The suction seems to automatically release when the toy is turned off, which is good from a safety standpoint. I also found that (when properly lubed) the toy would easily release from my vulva even when the suction was on, if I just angled it up or down a bit.
  • To some extent you can control the degree of the suction by angling it various different ways. I didn’t always want the full amount of suction the toy was producing, so I could tilt it slightly to prevent it from reaching its full potential in that regard for a subtler sensation, at least until I got turned on enough to handle the more intense suction.
  • This toy is IPX6 water-resistant, which means you can wash it in the sink or shower without fear of ruining it, but shouldn’t submerge it in water.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • For me, the main problem with this toy is that the tongue is not stimulating enough. The suction is awesome, and gets me very turned on, but I need that little somethin’ extra from the tongue to get me over the edge, and it just doesn’t press hard enough (or maintain its rhythm well enough when pressure is applied) to make this a fully enjoyable experience for me. It also vibrates buzzily, which definitely contributes to the sense of nearly-numbing “not quite enough”-ness. I was able to reach orgasm with this toy but it was never quite as satisfying as I was expecting/hoping for. I think this could be fixed by removing the buzzy vibrations from the tongue, making them rumblier, and/or improving the tongue’s motor so its strokes feel more impactful.
  • The 3 suction settings differ only in intensity of suction and not in speed. This was a bit of a disappointment; at a certain point I wanted to be sucked faster, but still couldn’t handle more suction than was being doled out on the first setting.
  • This toy’s pretty big and bulky for its product category. It would be trickier to integrate into penetrative sex than some other clit suckers/lickers I’ve tried, and also didn’t always feel comfortable to hold after a while. I tried using it hands-free by holding it between my thighs but it didn’t tend to sustain a good enough suction seal on my vulva when I did this.
  • There are a couple of tiny holes at the far end of the toy which have something to do with the suction function, and I found that when I accidentally covered them up with a fingertip, the suction would become erratically more intense, sometimes uncomfortably so. These holes are in a place where they’re really easy to cover accidentally, inconveniently enough.
  • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: all suction toys should have a manual-release button. If your toy dies or malfunctions mid-suck, you need to be able to release the suction without relying on the toy’s mechanics to do so for you.
  • It’s on the louder side of the spectrum. A lotta mechanical whirring.
  • It has a pretty short battery life – you’ll get 30-60 minutes of use from a 90-minute charge, depending on which settings you’re using.
  • As with most toys of this type, you gotta use a lot of (water-based) lube to keep it feeling good and mouth-like.

 

Final thoughts

At $55 USD, I think the YoYoLemon Vibrating Pussy Pump with Tongue Licking Motions is fairly priced for what it is: a powerful clit pump with added tongue-like stimulation.

For me personally, this is the type of toy I’d reach for if I wanted to get physically aroused fast, since its suction is very effective – but I’d switch to something else when I wanted to actually get off, because I just don’t find its tongue stimulating enough, what with its high-pitched vibrations and insufficiently strong strokes.

If you love having your clit sucked – or think you would – then I think this toy would be a good buy. To me it certainly feels more like a human sucking me than many other such toys have, and while the tongue wasn’t totally my clit’s cup of tea, it might very well be yours.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Butt Plugs Are Surprisingly Versatile

Kate Sloan
Pictured: the Godemiche Plug B in raspberry cream glitter (have you ever seen such a gorgeous plug?!)

Did you know that the all-time most popular post on this entire blog (out of nearly 1,300 posts) is about activities that are more fun when you’re wearing a butt plug? People are very curious about this topic, apparently.

That being said, even 7 years after writing that post, I’m still regularly amazed by the versatility of butt plugs. Let me explain.

A lot of sex toys require you to use them actively – you hold a vibrator against yourself, thrust a dildo in and out, move a stroker up and down. Sure, some of these toys can be used in a more passive manner, especially with the help of accessories like a wand vibrator clamp or a fucking machine, but apart from that, generally you have to be doing something in order to use this type of toy.

A well-designed butt plug is different because you can “set it and forget it” – although, of course, if it feels particularly good then you may not really be able to “forget it”!

One of the ways I use butt plugs most frequently these days is wearing one while receiving oral sex (or while having cunnilingus-focused phone sex, as the case may be). I don’t always have the energy or the vaginal ambition to thrust a dildo against my G-spot or A-spot, but clitoral pleasure on its own doesn’t always feel stimulating enough for a super-satisfying experience. Enter the humble butt plug. Like a dildo, it gives me something to squeeze around when clitoral stimulation makes my pelvic muscles contract, thereby intensifying orgasms and the lead-up to them – but unlike a dildo, I don’t need to move it or even touch it once it’s inserted (provided, again, that it’s well-designed enough to stay put, which, sadly, not all plugs are).

Wearing a butt plug makes me much more aware of every little twitch and contraction of my vaginal muscles, which is why it’s so stellar when paired with oral. But for the same reason, it also makes a spanking or other sadomasochistic scene feel all the more arousing. I never noticed how much my genital muscles squeeze and pulse when I’m receiving pain until I started wearing a butt plug during these scenes sometimes – the plug pretty much forces me to notice it!

Another way I frequently use butt plugs is as motivation for completing certain tasks. My partner, who is very clever, will sometimes tell me to insert a plug if I need to clean my room or do various other chores. Much like wearing a collar around my neck, the plug serves as a constant reminder of what I’m meant to be doing, because I can’t really “tune out” the sensation of wearing one – it’s always there, drawing attention to itself, so that if I get sidetracked or demotivated, it’s never too long before I go, “Oh wait, yeah, I’m supposed to be tidying. Let’s get back to that.” Other adult toys can certainly be motivating too – promising me a wand-vibe orgasm when I finish writing an article is a good way to make sure it gets done, for instance – but I find none so easy to seamlessly incorporate into the task itself as a butt plug.

For me, butt plugs also work well for generating arousal passively, even if I’m not doing anything sexual at all. Sometimes my partner will tell me to wear a plug while we watch a TV show or a movie together, and usually by the time we’re done watching, I’m turned on, even if there was nothing sexual in the media we consumed. This is super useful, especially since a combination of chronic pain, depression, and having responsive desire can make it hard for me to “get in the mood” even when I want to. Butt plugs are kind of a life hack in this way.

Plenty of people use butt plugs as a warm-up for anal sex or larger anal penetration, and I’ve used them that way from time to time too. But since I prefer anal penetration on the smaller end of the spectrum for the most part, usually a plug itself is enough for me. I’m always glad to have packed one in my suitcase when I travel to see my partner, because we always end up using it in myriad ways. Gotta love a product that’s equally enjoyable during a cunnilingus session, a heavy flogging, or a trip to the grocery store!

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Velvet Thruster Sammie

Kate Sloan

Having been in this business for as long as I have, I can usually tell from a mile away if I’m going to love a toy. I’m not always 100% correct in my assessment – because it’s my junk, not my brain, that ultimately determines whether a toy works for me – but my hunches usually lean in the right direction.

So when the folks at Velvet Brands – who make the Velvet Thruster line of toys – asked if they could send me something, I was excited. I’d wanted to try one of these fuckers for years, because I had a strong suspicion that I’d love them. AND I DO, as it turns out!

 

The good

Velvet sent me their Sammie thruster, which is the biggest one they make. It’s got 7″ of insertable length and a hefty 2.25″ diameter. But my vagina’s not a superhero every day, so it’s great that they also sent me the Jackie attachment, which can be swapped for the Sammie attachment when I want to be fucked by something slimmer. This approach, of having a base unit that you can use with multiple different heads, is brilliant; it’s one of the many nice features that elevate Velvet Thrusters from regular self-thrusting toys and make them into something more akin to a fucking machine.

See, fucking machines are the go-to recommendation if you want something strong that can rhythmically pound into you without requiring much effort on your part. (As a frequently lazy masturbator, I understand this desire.) But a good fucking machine can run you upwards of $500, and also tends to take up a massive amount of space. So I love that the Velvet Thruster is relatively compact, and reasonably priced for the amount of power you get ($255 in the USA, $352 up here in Canada).

Because this thing is indeed fucking powerful. When I’ve tested other thrusters before, some (like the Fun Factory Stronic toys) have created a motion so small that it’s more akin to jiggling back and forth than slamming in and out of you. That can still feel plenty good at times, but when you really want to get fucked, it may not be what you reach for. Other thrusters I’ve tried have had such weak motors that they peter out when pressure is applied, and seeing as the vagina muscles (and anal muscles) contract and pulse during arousal and orgasm, it can be hard to get consistent stimulation with that type of toy, which can result in lessened pleasure and a weakened climax.

NOT SO with the Velvet Thruster! This thing’s motor has so much oomph that it doesn’t give a shit what my vagina is doing, it just keeps on truckin’ (and fuckin’). Its six speeds range from a slow-and-steady pace to a much more frantic 140 strokes per minute. The sensations are much stronger and more consistent than those I’ve gotten from any other self-thrusting toy, and it makes me come super hard.  I’ve never used a full-on fucking machine, because I’ve never had the space to spare and don’t often masturbate in the positions necessitated by such a behemoth; this Velvet toy delivers all the chutzpah I’d want from a fucking machine, but suits my needs much better.

I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about the shapes and textures of the attachments I was sent, because they’re both utterly lacking in curve, and have a semi-realistic veiny texture along the shaft. With ample lube (which is required with this toy – more on that below) and enough warm-up/arousal, the texture was a non-issue; if anything, it left me feeling even more thoroughly fucked after a session, in a good way. And as for the shape, well, these heads are long enough to hit my A-spot on each thrust – with a little manual help from me by finding the right angle during initial insertion – and so I’m more than happy with them. The 2.25″ girth of the Sammie can feel too big for me some days, especially with how firm it is, but then I can always swap to the Jackie for a subtler experience.

Velvet sent me an optional suction cup base for this toy (pictured), and I think it’d be a smart thing to throw into your cart if you get one of these. It opens up your positioning options substantially, making it much easier for you to back up against a wall to get fucked, or sit on the dick from above as it thrusts up at you from the floor. These aren’t common positions in my masturbation repertoire at all, but it’s fantastic to have the option, especially since this is the exact type of toy I’d reach for if I wanted to feel like a real human was well-and-truly railing me.

The toy’s “balls” act as a flared base which makes it anal-safe; Velvet sells an anal-specific attachment, but the others work just fine in your butt too. I also like that the toy’s power button is on its balls, which face away from you during use; this makes it almost impossible to accidentally turn the toy off mid-session.

Oh yeah, and it can last 6-8 hours on a charge. Impressive.

 

The bad

My complaints about this toy are mostly the usual ones you’ll hear about almost any thruster. Namely: it makes a loud, mechanical whirring noise during use, and it’s bigger than your typical sex toy so it might not fit in small nightstand drawers. That being said, I find both of those qualities to be forgivable, given this thing’s dazzling power output.

You will need a lot of lube with this toy. You just will. Not only does it help with surface friction – which would be a major issue otherwise, due to the toy’s draggy matte silicone and veiny texture – but it makes the thrusting go more smoothly and makes it less likely that the toy will shimmy its way out of you.

The main logistical issue I face with this thruster – and many other thrusters – is indeed that it tends to work its way out of my vag as it thrusts. You need to anchor the handle against something to prevent this from happening; a firm pillow between your legs could work, and of course, if you’ve suction-cupped the thruster to a wall or floor, those surfaces will provide helpful resistance. But my most common solution to this problem, because I’m lazy, has been to bend one knee so my ankle is braced against the toy’s handle. The toy is long enough that I can do this comfortably, even though my fibro-ridden knees complain if I bend them too much for too long. Having to keep my ankle in one spot during use isn’t ideal, of course, but it’s not all that obtrusive and usually doesn’t bother me, especially since it results in me getting fucked so hard I see stars.

The thruster’s buttons sometimes seem uncomfortably far away from me; I usually have to bend over a bit and look at them in order to change speeds. But this isn’t the type of toy I tend to change speeds on very often, compared to, say, a clitoral vibrator, so it hasn’t been too much of an issue.

I’ll also say that this thruster is very firm. The silicone gives it a tiny bit of squish at the surface, but overall it’s way way harder than any human dick would be. This can be wonderful if you’re craving strong sensations, but less so if you want something realistic-feeling or more forgiving. I always feel thoroughly fucked after using this toy, and I find that cunt-ache kinda hot and fun in most circumstances, but if you’re prone to pain/discomfort from penetration, you’ll probably want to stick with a smaller attachment and, again, use a shit ton of lube.

Notably, it’s not waterproof. This makes me slightly sad as someone who would love to get fucked during a leisurely bathtub wank, but it’s by no means a dealbreaker for me.

 

Final thoughts

I’m really delighted with the Velvet Thruster Sammie. It provides enough force and consistency to fuck me the way I like, and I often have stellar orgasms when I pair it with a clitoral vibe.

It may not be appropriate for all situations – I wouldn’t use it if I was concerned about someone overhearing me, for instance, or if my vag was sore – but it’s the best toy I’ve found for fulfilling the specific craving to get ploughed hard. And since my partner lives 500 miles away from me and I’m not dating/fucking anyone else at the moment, that is indeed a craving I encounter from time to time.

Do I wish the Velvet Thruster was a little squishier, a little quieter, and a little cheaper? Sure. But is it also the best thruster I’ve ever tried? Absolutely. And that, folks, is the thrust of my argument.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.